My emotions can occasionally go on the roller coaster rails, usually when I’m not happy. Usually when I’m stressed and feeling trapped.

Otherwise, when my life is manageable and calm, I am happy to just float on the quiet lazy River and let life take me along!

It took a lot of inner work to reach this point, for having come out of severe criticism in my youth I had become very judgemental and hateful towards myself.

I was anxious, sometimes depressed, usually stressed, and had difficulty just trusting that the universe had my best interests at heart because I had come to believe that I deserved all the difficulties and the trials I had gone through!

Being able to just float along the quiet lazy river of trust in my mind was an impossible notion in those years!

It just didn’t seem possible that I could do that, because I was so tightly wound up, always expecting the proverbial “other shoe” to drop.

So, for me, a huge hallmark of my healing was just to be able to release any worries I might feel when something upsetting came up, and to just have a sense of “knowing” that everything is being worked out for my greater good by the Universe!

I went through this in the past year, when I was doing my extended job search.

I was laid off at the beginning of the pandemic, in May 2020. Only in March 2021 did I land a temp job.

During my forced time at home, I wrote and published my newest book Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It. I found myself grateful to have been given this time to work on this big project, for working on it part-time while I worked would definitely have taken me longer. I published it in November 2020, so having those months to work on it was wonderful!

During that time off I also helped my daughter fix up and paint the exterior of her house, creating some great curb appeal!

I got heavily into my job search in the New Year of 2021 and was called by one of my recruiters for a temp position. Since it was a lower salary than what I was looking for I kept searching for something permanent elsewhere, but I had a strong feeling about it, so I said yes to the recruiter.

I had quite a number of very promising interviews, where it was down to the wire between me and another candidate. Each and every time I prayed over that job, asking to be placed where I NEEDED to be placed.

To my consternation, every single one of those promising jobs fell away. I was starting to experience self-doubt, anxiety was slowly creeping up and I was struggling not to feel desperation! I was very sure with each job that was where I could be happy! I had to keep reminding myself that I hadn’t asked to be placed where I could make buckets of money, or where I’d be happy, but instead, I had asked to be placed where I was NEEDED!

I need never have worried! It was my old fears coming up and wasn’t the reality I was living!

As it turned out, there was a brand new job created and posted on the organization’s website, and one of my colleagues kept telling me to apply. Finally, I did, and the Interim President approached me asking if I wished to have the job.

The Universe knew months before that this job would be created and posted, so when I kept praying to be placed where I was NEEDED, those other jobs I was interviewing for simply slid away because that wasn’t where I was needed!

Yes, looking back 20/20 hindsight showed me the whole picture, how everything fit together, but I also see it wasn’t just wishful thinking on my part to try to make sense of what was going on. I see that there was a definite plan for me, that I was being guided.

Sometimes when it seems like the doors remain shut, it simply means there is something else planned for us!

Learning to trust the Universe and God, takes time and practice, for we aren’t always immediately very good at it. If we’ve been through many difficulties in life where trust was broken or if we felt crushed, being able to feel trusting of the Universe does take practice and effort!

Our inner critic surfaces, offering unkind words to our hearts, telling us that maybe we aren’t worthy after all.

The answer to overcoming this inner critic requires patiently and repetitively speaking kind words to ourselves, practicing suspending judgment, and doing the tough inner work to heal from past traumas.

If you give yourself the time to do this work I’m sure you’ll be very pleased with the results which come out of it!

Be patient with yourself, for it does take time and perseverance to work it through!

A very important reminder to each of you: You ARE worthy! You ARE loved! You DO have a purpose! You HAVEN’T been forgotten!

More goodness:

• 5 Daily Reminders: Say these to yourself in front of a mirror!
• As you think so shall you be!
• Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.
• There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.
• The next level of your life will demand a different version of you!
• The power of love is the strongest force in the universe.
• The more you extend kindness to yourself, the more it will become your automatic response to others.
• You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
• You get world peace through inner peace.
• Affirmation: Every cell in my body vibrates with energy and health. Loving myself heals my life.
• Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.
• Love is NOT all you need!
• Though you may hold your sword in a shaky hand, I see the demons you are slaying.
• Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.
• What you are walking through at this moment may just be the story that helps get someone else through…

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/

My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audio book available!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks,    Anger Journal,    Guided Anxiety Journal    Joy & Mindfulness Journal     My Boundaries Journal   My Inner Thoughts Journal   

Thanks for buying my books on Amazon!

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