Okay, apart from honesty, kindness, respect, emotional maturity and a sense of humor, a STEADY ATTENTION SPAN is a key ingredient to making a relationship work.

Men say they want more intimacy in their lives, and for many men, they experience intimacy through sex. They complain that women are always too tired to have sex. Let’s look at that for a minute.

Women had bought into the myth of being able to “do it all” in order to “be allowed” to work outside of the home, and their exhaustion levels are proof that doing it all isn’t a sustainable recipe for relationship happiness. The choice of being allowed to work has long changed into a necessity for women to work yet not only have the “traditional” roles of “women’s and men’s work” around the house remained practically the same, in many situations men have abdicated doing what were typically their jobs to do.

You’ve no doubt been hearing about the mental loads that women are carrying and hearing how they crave for their partners to see what needs to be done and to step up and just do it. In order for that to happen, women’s partners need to be paying attention to what needs doing, to see the rhythms and patterns of the household in order to be able to do their share of handling the load. However, we have tech and streaming services that seem to be highly addictive and seem to put up effective barriers to people participating in their own lives.

We now have 2 to 3 generations of people who have their heads in their smart phones and devices, scrolling, watching videos and generally wasting a lot of time. The world will pass a person by when their head is in their phone (or on their laptop or iPad) and they’ll happily let others do basic tasks for them. Distraction is nice, until too much distraction erases our ability to interact with our own lives. We can get so caught up, that a minute easily morphs into an hour or more. Not only is all this tech a major distraction, but it has become so addicting that it infantilizes the addicts.

Note of humor: buying your significant other cleaning tools as a gift doesn’t count as doing your part of the chores!

If we’re dropping the ball on doing what needs to be done to manage the day-to-day, who is picking up the ball?

There’s growing evidence that stepping away from all the tech in our lives can help our mental well-being and our relationships. Here are 10 articles I found that support stepping away from tech in order to reclaim one’s mental health and to become more present in relationships and life.

1. Digital Detox: Benefits of Unplugging from Tech One Day a Week
2. Reducing Screen Time—Mental Health Tips For Unplugging From Technology
3. The Benefits of Unplugging from Technology
4. Digital Detox: How Taking a Break from Screens Boosts Your Mental Health
5. Step Away from the Screen: The Mental Health Benefits of Offline Time
6. 5 Reasons to Have a Digital Detox
7. Digital Detoxing: Reclaiming Mental Clarity in an Always-Connected World
8. A break from your smartphone can reboot your mood. Here’s how long you need
9. The Power of Unplugging: 6 Health Benefits of Spending Time Offline
10. Top 10 Benefits of Unplugging from Technology: Reclaim Your Time, Mind, and Health

Are you feeling lost without your tech and don’t know how you’ll fill your time? That can be a big indicator of tech dependency/addiction. By reclaiming your minutes and hours, you’re also able to reclaim your attention span for the things that matter, and hopefully will also be able to see the myriad of things that need doing and then be able to just pitch in and be part of the team.

Everything we do and also not do is a choice. Once we tune in, we can see all the things we had previously found ways to ignore.

Giving our attention to the people and the details in our lives is an enrichening process. Sometimes we need to just stop doing the mindless stuff to be able to see and to participate in our lives instead of being a burden to others.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As always, I have more for you to ponder:

• Science has proven that changing our inner dialogue changes our brain
• You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
• Change is never painful, only resistance to change is painful.
• Don’t quit on you!
• Your mind is a garden, Your thoughts are the seeds.
• Don’t be afraid to start all over again. You may like your new story better.
• Vision – It reaches beyond the thing that is, into the conception of what can be
• A new you! Is this possible?
• Green flagged – people who are considered good people have these traits
• We’re all a work in progress
• How social myths contribute to struggling mental health issues
• What are the benefits of staying a victim, vs. becoming a protagonist in our own lives, and how do we do that?
• Do small things with great love.
• Housework, childcare. Who’s work?? Yours, mine, ours?
• You become what you surround yourself with. Energies are contagious. Choose carefully. Your environment will become you.
• You’re not selfish for wanting the same energy and love you give.
• Relationship affirming behaviors

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
https://tamarakulish.com/

My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks ||  Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal  ||  Joy & Mindfulness Journal   ||  My Boundaries Journal  || My Inner Thoughts Journal   

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