Your triggers are your teachers

Quote and meme by ChildrenofLight

As 2023 starts, you may be wondering where to start on your self-healing journey. Looking at what triggers us is an excellent place to start, for it shows us in a visceral way what is still left unhealed.

“Your triggers are your teachers. Whatever triggers you, reveals what still needs to be healed.”

I used to hear this and feel angry; couldn’t put my finger on why I was getting angry though.

Then I realized that I was interpreting the phrase as criticism of my not trying hard enough to heal.

I had been severely criticized and verbally abused in my younger years, so I became hyper-alert to any possible sort of criticism. I had become defensive. It was my survival mechanism that had kicked it.

When I realized what was going on, I was able to see the irony in the quote, that it alone was triggering me!

Sometimes simply looking at the entirety of the situation allows us to see what we weren’t able to see before.

The revelations don’t show us to be severely lacking or to be terrible people, simply ones who went into survival mode.

Meme and quote by Quotes & Sayings

Healing means consciously moving from survival mode into healthy living mode.

This doesn’t come naturally to us.

What is extremely simple for those who grew up in loving homes, is exceedingly difficult for us.

Difficult, but not impossible!

I found it useful to journal and to create therapeutic artwork to help me see each trigger, to see it for what it was, to reassure myself that I was safe, in order to be able to do the inner work of moving forward.

In both my books, as well as many, many posts, I give out the information for moving through all those steps. Of course, my books will have more information than the posts, plus helpful exercises to do. I’ve also created Guided Journals to help with specific topics.

If you’ve been reading my posts and feel certain things speak to your own healing, let me encourage you to keep going!

You can do this!

Remember, take it as slowly as you need, for as long as you need.

Even with slow progress, there is growth. Going slowly allows us more time to assimilate each new piece of knowledge and to be able to put it into practice before starting the next step.

Anyone who pushes or goads you into growing faster than what you are currently capable of isn’t looking at what your needs are; they wish you to follow the timeline of their own expectations.

True lasting growth comes when we process everything at our own pace. Otherwise, it may fall aside when we feel under pressure or are too severely stressed, and we subconsciously go back to what feels more comfortable. By going slowly and putting each step into practice, we allow new neural pathways to be laid down in our brains, and with more use, they will become our new go-to’s.

Remember this: no matter how many times we may “fail” or “fall off the horse”, we can keep getting back up again. All isn’t lost, for the neural pathway(s) you laid down in that (or those) attempts are still there. When you do more attempts, you continue to lay down neural pathways, and with enough times you try, you will find your brain slowly cooperating more and more to ease your desired progress!

Be safe!

I believe in you! I care what your outcome is! You have the ability to do this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now… keep going!

Lastly, keep in mind that as you heal and grow, you will then be able to help others who may be still in the same situation and who are struggling to find a way out.

Quote by Emily Maroutian, meme by Mouthy Women

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25 thoughts on “Your triggers are your teachers

  1. As you suggest, Tamara, one’s wounds can lead to one’s strengths if the individual gets to the point of rejecting the “version” of himself/herself he or she has come to dislike and finds the will to take action. One should not see oneself as the entire cause, but as the only one who can change. Not easy or brief, but possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I love this! I learned this experientially, and your words resonate within me as they are the truth I lived. Absolutely 💯!


    1. I love that one too! I heard it years ago and felt a weight lift off my shoulders, I felt relieved that even a damaged person could create a healthy and happy outcome for their life. Previously I had mistakenly thought that only people who came from happy homes had that chance, but that quote opened a door of possibility in my mind and heart!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I like the second quote, “You can’t go back and change the begining, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” It is true that if we look at where we are now, we can make choices on how we want our life to be and not have to accept it the way others tell us that it should be.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes, that’s exactly why I love that quote too. It was lifechanging for me to realize that I could take the reins of my life and work to change the outcome in spite of where things started.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Devang! Trying to give positive examples for people to follow to make changes in their lives, as you do!


    1. Nicole, I hear you! I think when we go through traumas in life, we relate easily to what others go through because the emotional aspects are so similar. I hope you find solace in what I write! blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. You would be amazed at the creativity of some folks! Of course, it’s important to remember that in art there are no wrong ways to approach anything! Follow your gut and your spirit!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I started by just drawing traumas that I remembered. It must have triggered something, because I had a horrible nightmare of my ex. Yeah…shook something loose. Time for Peace and Calming trauma release oil.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. That’s such good therapy! I’ve done it and got triggered too. Important to remind ourselves that we are safe now, and take time to do some breathing and relaxation techniques! You’re doing great!


              1. Yeah. I put some Peace and Calming trauma release oil in my diffuser last night. I slept better and feel like I can draw more and keep moving forward. Thanks for the encouragement!

                Liked by 1 person

  2. Indeed they are dear lady. And I love the quote…’if you want to know where to find your contributions to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others’ . Sums it up beautifully 😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, it does, doesn’t it? It took me a long time to understand that truth, for even reading the quote was difficult for me. I could see my healing progress each time I came across it and I felt better and better each time.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, Tamara, there is so much wisdom here! “Healing means consciously moving from survival mode into healthy living mode.” Wow! I think so many are trapped in survival mode without even realizing they’re stuck in old, destructive habits. Freedom is on the other side of that inner work.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Right Erin?! I agree, so many of us are stuck in survival mode, even completely operating from the Amygdala, which doesn’t aid us in rational decision making! It’s definitely time for us collectively to make the shift! It’s hard to reprogram our minds, but it is doable.

      Thanks so much for stopping by Erin, and being so supportive! 🤩🤩

      Liked by 1 person

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