As 2023 starts, you may be wondering where to start on your self-healing journey. Looking at what triggers us is an excellent place to start, for it shows us in a visceral way what is still left unhealed.
“Your triggers are your teachers. Whatever triggers you, reveals what still needs to be healed.”
I used to hear this and feel angry; couldn’t put my finger on why I was getting angry though.
Then I realized that I was interpreting the phrase as criticism of my not trying hard enough to heal.
I had been severely criticized and verbally abused in my younger years, so I became hyper-alert to any possible sort of criticism. I had become defensive. It was my survival mechanism that had kicked it.
When I realized what was going on, I was able to see the irony in the quote, that it alone was triggering me!
Sometimes simply looking at the entirety of the situation allows us to see what we weren’t able to see before.
The revelations don’t show us to be severely lacking or to be terrible people, simply ones who went into survival mode.
Healing means consciously moving from survival mode into healthy living mode.
This doesn’t come naturally to us.
What is extremely simple for those who grew up in loving homes, is exceedingly difficult for us.
Difficult, but not impossible!
I found it useful to journal and to create therapeutic artwork to help me see each trigger, to see it for what it was, to reassure myself that I was safe, in order to be able to do the inner work of moving forward.
In both my books, as well as many, many posts, I give out the information for moving through all those steps. Of course, my books will have more information than the posts, plus helpful exercises to do. I’ve also created Guided Journals to help with specific topics.
If you’ve been reading my posts and feel certain things speak to your own healing, let me encourage you to keep going!
You can do this!
Remember, take it as slowly as you need, for as long as you need.
Even with slow progress, there is growth. Going slowly allows us more time to assimilate each new piece of knowledge and to be able to put it into practice before starting the next step.
Anyone who pushes or goads you into growing faster than what you are currently capable of isn’t looking at what your needs are; they wish you to follow the timeline of their own expectations.
True lasting growth comes when we process everything at our own pace. Otherwise, it may fall aside when we feel under pressure or are too severely stressed, and we subconsciously go back to what feels more comfortable. By going slowly and putting each step into practice, we allow new neural pathways to be laid down in our brains, and with more use, they will become our new go-to’s.
Remember this: no matter how many times we may “fail” or “fall off the horse”, we can keep getting back up again. All isn’t lost, for the neural pathway(s) you laid down in that (or those) attempts are still there. When you do more attempts, you continue to lay down neural pathways, and with enough times you try, you will find your brain slowly cooperating more and more to ease your desired progress!
Be safe!
I believe in you! I care what your outcome is! You have the ability to do this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now… keep going!
Lastly, keep in mind that as you heal and grow, you will then be able to help others who may be still in the same situation and who are struggling to find a way out.
I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, and Follow my blog! If you want to become a Guest writer, please contact me and we’ll work out the details!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
- Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
- By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
- Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
- Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
- An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
- My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
- A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
- Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
- A new you! Is this possible?
- Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
- There is no enlightenment outside of daily life – Thich Nhat Hanh
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
My books: Now available through Walmart.com!
Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
Thanks for buying my books on Amazon!
#writing #InspirationalWriting #journalwriting #art #creativity #strength #guru #mentor #teacher #HappinessGuru #TamaraHappinessGuru #TamaraKulish #Tamara #HappinessMentor, #love #growth #healing #life, #inspiration, #quotes #happiness #joy #PersonalGrowth #pain #depression #anxiety #SelfEsteem, #LifeSkills #empowerment #encouragement #support #intuition #journal #consciousness #mind #learn #God #universe #angels #spiritual #spirit #awareness #journaling #journal #boundaries #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #emotions #control #Amazon #Kindle #Twitter #Goodreads #Facebook #blog #author #publishing #encouragement #angermanagement #artjournal #ColoringBooks
Tamara Kulish 
As you suggest, Tamara, one’s wounds can lead to one’s strengths if the individual gets to the point of rejecting the “version” of himself/herself he or she has come to dislike and finds the will to take action. One should not see oneself as the entire cause, but as the only one who can change. Not easy or brief, but possible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I love this! I learned this experientially, and your words resonate within me as they are the truth I lived. Absolutely 💯!
LikeLike
You’re so right! Our triggers remind us of things we are still holding on to that need to be processed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! I really struggled with this quote for many years! I now realize what it was teaching me! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
“but you can start where you are an change the ending” – wow, that’s impactful! Great post and reminder to take a bigger, wider, deeper look when we feel that tweak. Thanks, Tamara!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that one too! I heard it years ago and felt a weight lift off my shoulders, I felt relieved that even a damaged person could create a healthy and happy outcome for their life. Previously I had mistakenly thought that only people who came from happy homes had that chance, but that quote opened a door of possibility in my mind and heart!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good outlook and tips Tamara. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Pennize! Was there anything in particular that spoke to you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the second quote, “You can’t go back and change the begining, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” It is true that if we look at where we are now, we can make choices on how we want our life to be and not have to accept it the way others tell us that it should be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that’s exactly why I love that quote too. It was lifechanging for me to realize that I could take the reins of my life and work to change the outcome in spite of where things started.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A very positive and beautiful message
About self help and healing.
😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Devang! Trying to give positive examples for people to follow to make changes in their lives, as you do!
LikeLike
Sometimes I feel like so much of what you write is directly to me. We have a lot in common.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nicole, I hear you! I think when we go through traumas in life, we relate easily to what others go through because the emotional aspects are so similar. I hope you find solace in what I write! blessings to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true! I also love the idea of a drawing journal. Great stuff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Do look up Smash Books on Pinterest! There are some great examples there!
LikeLike
Ok. Will do!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You would be amazed at the creativity of some folks! Of course, it’s important to remember that in art there are no wrong ways to approach anything! Follow your gut and your spirit!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I started by just drawing traumas that I remembered. It must have triggered something, because I had a horrible nightmare of my ex. Yeah…shook something loose. Time for Peace and Calming trauma release oil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s such good therapy! I’ve done it and got triggered too. Important to remind ourselves that we are safe now, and take time to do some breathing and relaxation techniques! You’re doing great!
LikeLike
Yeah. I put some Peace and Calming trauma release oil in my diffuser last night. I slept better and feel like I can draw more and keep moving forward. Thanks for the encouragement!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed they are dear lady. And I love the quote…’if you want to know where to find your contributions to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others’ . Sums it up beautifully 😀❤️🙏🏽
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, it does, doesn’t it? It took me a long time to understand that truth, for even reading the quote was difficult for me. I could see my healing progress each time I came across it and I felt better and better each time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, Tamara, there is so much wisdom here! “Healing means consciously moving from survival mode into healthy living mode.” Wow! I think so many are trapped in survival mode without even realizing they’re stuck in old, destructive habits. Freedom is on the other side of that inner work.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Right Erin?! I agree, so many of us are stuck in survival mode, even completely operating from the Amygdala, which doesn’t aid us in rational decision making! It’s definitely time for us collectively to make the shift! It’s hard to reprogram our minds, but it is doable.
Thanks so much for stopping by Erin, and being so supportive! 🤩🤩
LikeLiked by 1 person