“A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge”
Follow link: – Thomas Carlyle quote on Pooja on QUOTE OF THE DAY #72
This post has been percolating for a little while, and I decided that releasing Part 1 and Part 2 around the end of the old year and the beginning of the new is a wonderful way to infuse some fresh new thoughts to be able to get the year off to a good start.
The nice thing about the aspects of both part of these posts, is we can return to practicing the new behaviors and thoughts as soon as we become aware that we may have gotten off track!
No self-reproach!
No mean self-talk!
No beating yourself up!
Simply make a choice to do and think the new way!
Too often when we start a new habit, and it doesn’t work out straight away (as often happens actually) we start to speak harshly to ourselves over this “screw-up”. We speak so harshly to ourselves, and we discourage ourselves so deeply that we then struggle to find the strength to try again.
Which of these 2 approaches sounds like what you want to try?
Helping ourselves is an incredible act of rebellion!
Regarding the quote below: It also applies to how we speak to and treat ourselves, doesn’t it?
Our healing from past traumas starts with relearning how we speak to ourselves, for as long as we keep the old negative tapes playing and replaying in our minds, we keep perpetuating the damage our abusers or bullies inflicted on us!
It’s a radical act of rebellion to focus on our wellbeing when the toxic people thought we were broken!
Imagine being able to not only rebuilt yourself, but to come back better and stronger! This is something they would never expect!
What happens to us when we speak unkindly and harshly to ourselves?
Let’s look at what happens to our bodies when we speak unkindly and harshly to ourselves, in addition to the external negatives we hear, see and experience: all the negativity, whether from inside of us or from external, affects our bodies so we produce Cortisol and other harmful chemicals in our bodies.
The effect is immediate. Those chemicals affect different parts of our bodies:
- Our hearts start to beat faster, indeed to the point of elevating our blood pressure to even dangerous levels
- Our muscles clench and hold the stress from the negativity, sometimes for years
- Fatigue
- Frequent illnesses or infections
- Headaches
- Skin problems
- Issues with the digestive system, which then can trigger other illnesses
- Long term effects on the Immune system
Having a loving heart and loving ourselves is also a vital part of being healthy, for when we struggle with speaking kindly to ourselves, we create more cortisol and stress chemicals in our bodies that affect our immune systems, likewise speaking kindly to ourselves helps to ease the inner stress and this in turn has a fortifying effect on our systems!
Please consider the above ideas, as well as another one below which can help you to move gracefully through different issues.
“Wu Wei involves abandoning our preconceptions and ideals that we often try to impose (sometimes involuntarily) on situations and relationships that happen to us in life. Rather, this way-without-way invites us to respond spontaneously and effortlessly to every event, questioning our goals, our programs, and our self-centred will.”
Follow link: crisbiecoach on Wu Wei, the Art of Non-acting
I love being able to put a name to choosing to wait and see how something will turn out, it definitely goes against how we’ve been taught to handle our lives as Westerners. If we do it without having a term for it, we do risk getting criticized for not jumping in?
Yet in our fraught relationships within families and even on the national stage, learning to wait and not just jump headlong into the fray, mindlessly repeating angry phrases and perpetuating anger and stress within ourselves would be a much healthier and more mature approach to handling life!
Looking forward to hearing from each of you, as you set these principles into motion in your life and see for yourself the incredible changes it can have within your body, mind and spirit!
I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, and Follow my blog! If you want to become a Guest writer, please contact me and we’ll work out the details!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
- Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
- By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
- Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
- Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
- An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
- My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
- A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
- Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
- A new you! Is this possible?
- Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
- There is no enlightenment outside of daily life – Thich Nhat Hanh
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
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Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!
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Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
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Tamara Kulish 
I love the way you’ve tied the way we think to our physical health. Something that’s often overlooked, yet oh so true. Fantastic post, Tamara!
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Thanks so much! Yes, this is often overlooked or ignored, but there is more and more evidence that this is absolutely true! When we learn the physiology of what happens to our bodies when we experience strong emotions, we can certainly see the connection. Perhaps a stumbling point is connecting our emotions with our thoughts!
The Holy Books speak of harnessing our thoughts, so that we may live a long and healthy life. This has been appropriated to mean “sinful” thoughts, creating great fear among followers that they are having “wrong” thoughts, creating a push-pull effect of people craving exactly what they are seeking to suppress. However, if we look at it as a teaching to harness our emotions and the thoughts behind the emotions, we can see that it’s a blueprint for health living, mentally, emotionally and physically! I’ve been fascinated with this since I saw it!
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I concur with you completely, Tamara! On all counts. And I appreciate the things you’re sharing!
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Thanks so much! I appreciate your support! Hope your new year is filled with wonder!
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Yes – I agree with Kendra. Such an interesting and rich connection you’ve written about. Thanks, Tamara!
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Thanks so much Wynne! I believe if wr (collectively) learn more about this connection we ca help ourselves to become healthier physically, especially as health concerns continue to mount higher.
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The quote you shared is something I had to remind myself of, in the classroom. Remembering this when connecting with others can lead to great compassion. It’s also good to protect ourselves, but reacting to “damaged” people is pointless. I had previously read the article you shared – a fascinating concept and one that feels like a sigh of relief… letting things flow more naturally. ✨
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Yes, I’m smiling as I read this! So much wisdom and experience in your words! Learning to lean into the flow more and more myself! It’s a process! Wishing you a wonderful new year!
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I am glad. 😊 I’ve learned a few things. Always more to learn though. Thanks so much, Tamara. May your year be full of good cheer and creative abundance!
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I feel the same way Michele! Thank you, and blessings!
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I didn’t realise just how much of an act of rebellion helping ourselves is until I start getting into it. Our minds are somewhat wired to always find the negatives before the positives. And you only notice that when you start trying to change your thought patterns. Great post as always and have a lovely 2023!
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Thanks so much Pooja! I always appreciate your feedback, it’s so on point. Yes, isn’t that the truth? We get wired into the negative. It seems embedded into our families and societies to the point that it feels unnatural to change and to become a positive person! I did long battles with that struggle within myself. Wishing you a wonderful new year full of happiness and satisfaction!
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Thanks so much and wishing you the same!
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😀🤩😉
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Stress is one of the destroyers of mind and body, we need to at the least give ourselves a break. A swim, a party, a walk…anything but what it is created by. Happy New Year dear lady, may it give that break every day 😀❤️🙏🏽
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Thanks so much Mark! Wishing you wonders and magic for the coming year! Yes, a mental and physical break from stress is a great idea!
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Tamara, my wish for you this New Year is that you may reach many more readers in need of your self-healing insights ❤
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Thanks so much Rosaliene! That definitely would make my heart very happy! It is my deep desire to do so! Wishing you wonderful blessings this year!
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Thanks very much, Tamara!
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My pleasure!
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I am working hard at editing my inner dialogue.
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Wonderful! I found it isn’t enough to put the brakes on the negative self-talk, but to also practice speaking kindly to ourselves. It didn’t feel natural for me in the beginning… far from it, I felt very uncomfortable. With time and lots of practice I got better at it! Wishing you wonderful blessings this year!
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Happy new year.
A very interesting post. Habits are important, the way we think about ourself really impacts our health and can be so exhausting.
I have never felt badly about myself, but I take others behaviour personally. Well I use to. Not so much now. I have worked on myself a lot
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Thanks so much! Wishing you wonderful blessings this year!
Yes, our thoughts and feelings affect our physical health far more than we realize. I’m happy for you that you are doing this inner work and have been able to pinpoint what you need to work on!
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thank you
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In a way this is self- love.
When we are not harsh to ourselves, we are giving and showing more care towards ourselves.
Great message.
Also, Please accept my humble apologies, I am running behind with 2 of your blogs. I still need to read them.
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No worries, Devang, there is no such thing in Spirit time as running behind, only delays that have great timing! Yes, this is all part of self-care, good for the body, mind and spirit! Wishing you wonderful blessings this year!
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My goodness, Tamara. You are prolific as well as thoughtful! I look forward to reading more of your words. Thank you!
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Wow, Thanks Dr. Stein! I hope you enjoy reading my posts! Wishing you wonderful blessings this year!
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