“You’re not selfish for wanting the same energy and love you give.”
Being a giver comes very naturally to many of us, and for some being an extreme giver has become a badge of honor, showing supreme dedication.
There’s nothing wrong with giving, but when it becomes part of a person’s identity, to the exclusion of accepting for oneself, we call that being a martyr.
There are many who live a martyr’s life, deriving strong feeling of self worth from it.
When our sense of self esteem is low we seek external ways to build ourselves up.
It’s possible to build our inner self up, to heal from the damage which had disintegrated our sense of self worth.
By working on our healing we allow ourselves to live a healthier, more balanced life.
A good way to start is to speak gentle affirmations.
“I am a worthwhile person, just who I am.
People will like me even if I don’t bend over backwards for them!”
“I am not selfish for wanting to receive what I give out.”
“It’s okay to love myself. I am worthwhile.”
You are awesome! You are worthwhile!
You are able to make a healthy transition to live a balanced life!
I’m sharing more post which may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audio book available!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
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Tamara Kulish 
You speak to me and of me so clearly :))) So many years I found my worth only through giving. ANd it was unpleasant to withdraw from it and live for myself. It was worth the growth. I still feel unskilled at asking for help.
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Me too! This weekend I needed to rely heavily on my daughter and she and the kids rallied around me. I told her how grateful I was to have them and to have their support. Her reply was simple: “of course, we’re family. That’s what family does!” I got the warm fuzzies inside!
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Aww and now I felt the warm fuzzies :))) So happy for you and your daughter is so amazing!
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🥰🥰🥰
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Love this, Tamara! I can relate. Having been a giver always, I used to find it hard to ask back what I gave in relationships. But not anymore and it did feel selfish in the beginning but atleast I don’t feel invalid.
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Good for you! That’s a difficult one! I did that too. Changing was difficult for me as I had to came face to face with the damage I had inside of me from my past and face it. It was tough to see that I wasn’t just shortchanging myself by being the martyr, I was shortchanging my marriage!
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