by Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

Here’s a life lesson in being effortlessly comfortable and “cool”.

by Prakriti @kritipraaa

Is there a cheat sheet? Why, yes, there is!

Ready?

It starts with teaching ourselves to like ourselves!

Everything falls into place when we start this process.

I say process because it’s a multi-step, multi-week journey, sounds easy, but is quite challenging.

The process challenges all the concepts about ourselves that we’ve internalized over our lifetimes from what was said to us to how we were treated.

Challenging because we slowly teach ourselves to think new thoughts and to slowly release old ones.

So, how does one go about performing this miraculous magic trick?

Here’s how:

Do you love Me? Alice asked.
No, I don’t love you! replied the White Rabbit.
Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.
See? replied the White Rabbit.
Now you’re going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can’t love you at least a little.
You know, that’s why I can’t love you.
You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.
Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other’s feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.
If you don’t love yourself, at least a little, if you don’t create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.
The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: “I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.”

From ‘Alice in Wonderland’

Remember this: you are worthy and worthwhile, even if life has left you feeling you’re not!

Want to learn more about how to teach yourself to like and then love yourself? Here are some good posts:

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
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40 thoughts on “Here’s a life lesson in being effortlessly comfortable and “cool”.”

  1. Pingback: Teaching our kids (and ourselves) emotional intelligence – Tamara Kulish
  2. Pingback: If someone has a problem with you becoming a better person… – Tamara Kulish

  3. Quite odd that I happen to read this today. I was cleaning a windowsill (weird) when I made the realization that, darn it, I like myself. Only took decades, haha, but that’s the beauty of age–caring far less what other people think of me. Plus, I’m doing things that make me happy. Being happy makes me like me. I sure hope I stay this way! 😛 It’s possible I may not like myself too much if I seriously injure myself. :/

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    1. I’m loving this! Yes, it’s sometimes in those small mundane moments that the realization hits us! It did for me, and I’m thinking that perhaps we used to beat ourselves up in those moments when our minds could wander, and now we have replaced the negatives with positives we tell ourselves.

      I’m sure you will give yourself grace and be gentle with yourself if you injured yourself. Whether it was “your fault” or not!

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    1. Thanks so much Deepthy! This was such a life changing truth for me to incorporate into my life that now I share it when I can.

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  7. As social beings that depend upon nameless others for our well-being, I’ve found that it’s not enough to love myself to find my way in this world. It also goes hand-in-hand with learning to love others with all their flaws.

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    1. Very true Rosaliene! I have found that my ability to love others in a healthy way has improved with my own growth in learning to love myself, for now I feel good about setting boundaries whereas before I felt guilty and could be talked out of it very easily. Inward and outward work!

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        1. The growth curve wasn’t easy, true growing pains, but it has become easier with practice. When I slip up, I’m able to spot it sooner and respond to my own pep talks better too.

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            1. Yes, that’s the way to do it! Even though I’m now very comfortable with the process, I still give myself plenty of reinforcement, I keep reminding myself that the universe has my back and wants the best for me. This is true for all of us!

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  8. The “place” of women is under assault. In my youth, it was common to hear the complaints from white men. They said blacks did not know their place. Might it be useful to address this, Tamara?

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    1. Good points Dr. Stein, let’s see what pops out. The upcoming events in our nation may well springboard my thoughts! Hope your weekend is awesome!

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    1. I found out it was the key to my mental health, so I love spreading this message! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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        1. I understand that very well! It takes work and persistence to make those changes, and it helps to remember that you’re rewiring your brain to think differently, to have new go-to thoughts. You’re creating new neural pathways each time you do the exercise, and it takes many repetitions to become stronger and then the old pathways start to fade with less and less use!

          Here’s a couple of posts that may help you with that!

          Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script! https://tamarakulish.com/2021/07/28/challenge-when-a-negative-thought-enters-your-mind-think-three-positive-ones-train-yourself-to-flip-the-script/

          You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be. https://tamarakulish.com/2020/12/19/you-must-learn-a-new-way-to-think-before-you-can-master-a-new-way-to-be-2/

          There are a few more on the archived page Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain – Archived Posts

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    1. So true Mark! I have personally found the benefits keep multiplying and help me in so many situations! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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        1. Oof, hope you got all the water dried and cleaned up. Yes, opportunity is there for creating something even better! Good outlook! Wishing you all the best to get it done!

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