If someone has a problem with you…

“If someone has a problem with you becoming a better version of yourself, they are not a person you should have sitting in the front row of your life.” – Dave Hollis

Doesn’t it seem incredible that anyone would have a problem with us becoming a better version of ourselves?

People can have strange reactions to the changes they perceive in us, sometimes they come across strongly as anger or sarcasm, or more quietly as passive aggressive actions. No matter how they come across, they want us to revert to our former selves.

Why? Why would someone who says they care about us wish us to revert?

Change is scary, and if they’re not changing too or wishing to change, that can bring up fears within them which come out in the negative ways they’re expressing.

If we wish to keep that relationship as we move forward, reassuring the other person that with all the changes we’re making we’ll still want to hang out may be just the thing the other person needs to hear.

On the other hand, the changes happening inside of ourselves may give us the strength to look deeply at each relationship to see if the negative behavior is something we wish to keep including in our lives!

I found that as I healed I became less and less tolerant of people who chose to put me down or to say unkind things, no matter what their reason was. I chose to distance myself from them, but first I let them know that as long as they chose to treat me unkindly or disrespectfully I wouldn’t be able to continue the relationship.

Did that change them or inspire them to change? Actually, no! That wasn’t my purpose, and I don’t believe any of us should live for that! I wished to set some boundaries with them, where previously they had been ignored.

So what happened when I stopped participating in the relationships which were tearing me down? I felt better!

Peace,
Tamara

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