In “13 Signs You Have Serious Anger Issues & Need To Calm Down” by Piper Ryan, we see a few behavior patterns that may not seem like a whole lot, but if you look closer at your relationships and really listen to what people are trying to tell you about yourself, you may be shocked to see that you do indeed have anger issues!

Let’s take an overview look at them. Sometimes, seeing the list, short and succinct, can help us see patterns. Do you identify with one or more of these?

1. You get infuriated over the tiniest inconveniences.
2. Your anger lasts wayyyy longer than it should.
3. You have a lot of outbursts.
4. People walk on eggshells around you.
5. You feel mad more often than not.
6. You don’t know how to communicate without getting angry.
7. You’re often filled with regret after an outburst
8. Your physical health is… not great.
9. You use your rage to intimidate people.
10. You can’t even let yourself admit you’re angry sometimes.
11. You’re always cynical and negative.
12. You feel like other people are always trying to provoke you.
13. Your relationships are becoming increasingly strained.

Living with chronic anger always bubbling below the surface can be exhausting for ourselves and for those around us. Apart from the relationship damage, it can be a root cause for many chronic illnesses too, for when our bodies are continuously seething, they produce a chemical cocktail that ends up damaging our mental health, our gut, our nerves, and our brains.

These days, anger seems to be a very powerful and pervasive emotion that is flowing through the airwaves, the internet, and the media, hyping us up, getting us feeling more anxious or moody. It seems to have become so much the norm lately that we don’t realize just how damaging it is.

Unfortunately we cannot change what’s going on out THERE, we can only look at ourselves and our own lives.

Often people are terrified to look inwardly to see the roots of their anger and depression, for there is a huge fear that they may find a horrible monster staring right back at them. The fear of finding a monster inside drives people to shove things way down, and go into denial about what they’re feeling, yet the results are there in their lives.

Does this ring true for you? Do you get panicky at the thought of looking at your own deep inner issues? Do you know deep down you have unresolved issues from your past but feel overwhelmed by them, not knowing where to start, so you do your best to just keep shoving them down, yet those sneaky suckers keep trying to get out of the lock-down you’ve worked hard to keep them under?

This may sound strange but let me say that you most likely don’t have a monster hiding inside of your psyche, waiting to get out if you don’t keep it locked down real tight.

Most of us have damage from our pasts. We’ve been through different types of traumas and difficult or abusive life situations that have scarred us. Often, we internalize what was said to us and how we were treated, to interpret that we must have truly been horrible people to have deserved to be treated the way we were.

This becomes the basis of the “inner monster” and becomes the actual barrier to being able to look inwards to finally heal from our pasts, and thus be able to resolve and release the deep-set anger and resentments that have been burning a hole seemingly in our very souls.

What if you weren’t a monster?
What if you weren’t a terrible, horrible person who supposedly caused your caregivers to treat you so awfully?
What if they were terribly damaged people who projected all their own inner pain and anger onto you, and you had absorbed it and had internalized it?
What if you could just see yourself as a hurt, damaged person who needs healing and affirmation?

Underneath most people’s chronic anger is unhealed pain that can feel so raw that we tend to try to shut it down and to shut it out, by whatever means we can.

It takes gutsiness to look inwards, see the raw pain and then work on it.

Many of us cannot afford the time and money to go to intensive psychotherapy to drill down into the past, so we try to hobble along the best we can in our lives. If you’ve reached this far in this post, you too may be tired of the anger and the pain, but just don’t know where to get started.

The good news is that you can start exactly where you are, right at this moment in your life. You won’t be required to do any major overhauls or changes, in fact, it is best accomplished one baby step at a time!

Let me give you more resources, you can skip around picking up a tidbit here and there. Anything you learn is a baby step in a good direction. Baby steps are good and they’re doable, allowing us to learn and implement one small thing at a time.

If you’re at the beginning of this journey, I support and encourage you to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’ve been there, I know the feeling of being overwhelmed and daunted, of falling down many rabbit-holes of depression, of feeling so hopeless that healing could be possible. It is, and I believe in you.

I don’t expect you to do this in a short amount of time, or really in any set amount of time. I do believe that you have it in you to slowly tackle it one baby step at a time. There will be setbacks, but keep trying, for you will be doing a mighty work of rewiring your brain!

Here’s some helpful posts to get you on a better track than feeling angry or resentful all or a lot of the time:

• Brain Rewiring
• Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
• Habit Power: We are what we repeat
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 1: how does it physically work in the brain?
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 2: how does it physically work in our body?
• Accepting and Embracing the Depressed Side of Ourselves
• Even after a setback or negative experience, we can create a “reset” button in our minds!
• Turning Poison into Medicine
• Your triggers are your teachers
• Change the tapes!
• Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
• You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
• Change how you see and see how you change.
• Don’t speak negatively about yourself!!
• Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything you are.
• Resilience is knowing that YOU are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up
• I do not allow others to influence my thinking unless it is positive or uplifting.
• Every thought we think is creating our future

You can explore 3 pages of helpful posts to keep learning and growing: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations. (My Archived Posts Main page is divided up into 3 sub-pages because there are now too many links to fit on just one page.)

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

My books: Now available through Walmart.com!

Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks ||  Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal  ||  Joy & Mindfulness Journal   ||  My Boundaries Journal  || My Inner Thoughts Journal   

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