A friend who I hadn’t spoken with in a while texted me today, and she asked me how I found the time to write, much less to complete writing another book. This post is part of the response I sent to her!
“Finding the time is simply doing what you want to do first and accepting that the housework will need to be fit into that schedule and not vice versa!
As women we’ve been trained to shoulder so much and made to feel guilty if we don’t meet an invisible standard that can keep changing! By giving ourselves permission to do what we love and release ourselves of the invisible guilt binding us, we can teach ourselves to live our lives more fully!
I don’t do resolutions anymore, they’re just wishes without a plan which is why they fail for so many!
For the past few years I’ve created a list of all my accomplishments, big and small, especially the small ones if there hasn’t been much of the big ones! I take time to congratulate myself on these, because in the moments of living we don’t always see what we’ve managed to do! It’s important to teach ourselves to feel good of all of our accomplishments and not to diminish them!
Enjoy the sense of satisfaction that develops as a result! From this, remember that feeling in order to find strength look at doing something new, knowing that you have the capabilities to do it!
The next step is to think about goal setting! Not just dry words of what you feel you need to do, but dare to take a look at what will bring you joy! This will give you the spark to work through some of the more mundane steps!
One of my friends and her husband have set a goal to go on more dates together and to have more fun experiences! I love this! They’ve found a great way do frame what they need to do with doable actions which bring joy to think about!
They could have set a resolution to improve their marriage and their relationship together, but they would have failed because that wouldn’t have shown them what they needed to do, and without an idea of how to do so, they would have felt terrible that they didn’t succeed and might have spent time arguing and blaming each other for it!
By setting goals we also open our minds to finding ways to do it, after all, hadn’t our work life trained us to do this? We look at a direction we want to take and then determine the steps needed to get there.
I feel we need to sit down and write everything out and not just have a million thoughts swirling in the head!
I suggest starting out by writing a gorgeous sentence or two which describes how you want your life to be!
Keep that in front of you as you look at your lists and decide how you can work towards creating that new reality!
Creating an action plan based on what motivates you will keep you on your track longer than just a dry list of must do’s!
Please start listing all your accomplishments of last year, so you can keep glancing at it to find satisfaction and strength!!”
Peace to you on your journey!