MISTAKES…
We all make them. Some are tiny and insignificant while others are life-affecting.BLAME…
It’s sometimes very tempting to find someone to blame it on, rather than accepting responsibility and the CONSEQUENCES ourselves.…Responsibility…
Regardless of the size of the mistake, or what we may have done wrong in our lives, it’s so very important to admit when we’ve done it! Taking ownership of every aspect of our lives is daunting! It can be overwhelming! …So overwhelming that it’s much easier to blame the consequences in our lives on other people! Ah, that feels better… It’s not really my actions which have led me into this predicament… It’s so and so’s fault! As emotionally mature adults, or rather, in order to become an emotionally mature adult, we need to accept responsibility for our actions! We’ve seen a generation of people being brought up in the mindset that everything they do, every effort they make is rewarded with ribbons and trophies! It would be easy to point a finger then at the younger generation as not having the moral fiber to take responsibility for their actions, as expecting things to be handed to them and blaming others for their troubles, right?Well here’s a thought: the parents and grandparents teaching these kids have instilled these thought processes instead of teaching them to be accountable in their lives! Why did they do this?
Well, it’s hard to be an emotionally mature person! It’s hard to take the high road! Doing the right thing doesn’t always feel good! So, because we love our kids so very, very much, it can be quite tempting to want to cushion their lives as much as possible! We live in a world where we expect there to be an easy button for everything… even for the tough emotional and physical work we need to do in our own lives! Isn’t it so much easier to find a scapegoat? It’s the teachers fault. It’s my sisters fault. It’s my brothers fault. It’s my mothers fault. It’s my fathers fault. It’s the Mexicans fault. It’s the fault of immigrants. It’s everyone’s fault that our life is the way it is, never our fault! Pointing fingers at other people and making them responsible for things we did or didn’t do in our lives isn’t fair… Or true! Taking personal responsibility is hard! It’s tough! …but it’s also a crucial part of emotional maturity!We may not be able to change the world and the sad/maddening events that we observe happening, but we can change ourselves and what values we teach our kids and grand-kids!
The good news: it’s never too late to change!
Even if we make mistakes we’d prefer to cover up, because of pride/insecurity/fear etc., why not try to practice taking ownership. Taking responsibility doesn’t have to incur negative words from others or speaking angrily to ourselves!Consequences can’t be avoided just because we take responsibility.
As much as we want to avoid negative consequences, we still need to “face the music”, so to speak. Avoiding responsibility doesn’t necessarily mean we get to avoid the consequences, but can in turn make matters much worse! A hallmark of Emotional and Spiritual maturity is our ability to face the consequences and not take it out on others/blame others!We can handle it with Grace!
Giving Grace to ourselves and extending Grace to others is very therapeutic! When we have Grace extended to us we tend not to react defensively or angrily! Grace helps us be more open to learning how we can improve!Mistakes are opportunities to learn to get better! A big mistake is simply a big opportunity.
More: Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING! Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script! Brain Rewiring Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think? Making a change… “How do I take that first step?” An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic! My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses! Setting “Boundaries with consequences” A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others… Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way? A new you! Is this possible? 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness Please go to my Archived Posts page to find a list to check out!
Tamara Kulish 
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