I learned that the biggest thing pulling me down into that dark rabbit hole of depression was my non-existent sense of self worth, and my internalized belief that I deserved all the bad things happening in my life.
When I decided that I wanted to heal and not keep sliding down into that place, I realized I needed to teach myself how to like myself, because if I liked myself and felt I was worthy, then I wouldn’t beat myself up so badly every time I felt I had messed up!
That was a very difficult task because I was somewhat of an expert at tearing myself down!
The first thing I did, and trust me when you try it too it will feel very strange and unnatural, was to practice not saying nasty things to myself. Instead, I was to speak gently, encouragingly to myself, like I spoke to my daughter when she was a little girl learning something new!
Wow, did that feel really stupid and weird!
I persevered in spite of how I felt because I had been learning about Neural Pathways and how to create new ones!
I wasn’t pleased that all my thoughts and actions towards myself had created a virtual highway of Neural Pathways where beating myself up was my automatic go-to!
I really wanted to change that!
In order to change my Neural Pathways I knew I need to purposefully think new thoughts enough times to start creating new pathways which would become roads, and hopefully, someday I’d even be able to retrain my brain to have extremely strong Neural Pathway highways as my new go-to’s.
This plan takes guts, patience, and perseverance to keep at it!
If you’re thinking of trying this out for yourself, please remind yourself that it’s okay to start small!
Baby steps are perfectly okay, and may be much more manageable than trying to do it all at once!
Baby steps get us started and help to build confidence!
You are a worthy individual!
I’m proud of you for trying, and for trying again and again!
It took me many, many tries before I started to get the hang of it!
That’s pretty normal actually! Keep trying!
You are worthwhile to invest your time and effort into!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audio book available!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
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Tamara Kulish 
You are a worthy individual. 👍 I am glad to have found you to read this post today. This is truly motivating to me. Thanks for sharing this with. Us 💖💖
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Thank you! I feel so blessed to hear your words and to connect with a like minded person!
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Self worth is a big One for me. I can’t believe I lived more than half my life until now without having a healthy sense of it. Already I feel so free and powerful and still my work is not done. Such a relentless journey, grateful though that I am on it. It is indeed a tedious, courageous journey with strange feeling choices. What is true on the way for us may not be most comfortable, yet we need to persist, with compassion and celebration for where we are.
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I understand your feelings! I’m a grandma and spend a little more than 3/4 of my life having little to no self worth.
Once I taught myself how to like myself, of course my old methods of beating myself up flared up, when like you I wished I had done it sooner and couldn’t believe that I hadn’t done it before.
Maya Angelou’s quote kept coming into my mind, so I deliberately made it my Mantra when I started to get down on myself for not doing something sooner in my life: “When I know better, I do better!”
This simple thought has helped my brutal side disengage from beating me up again and again!
It has given me great peace!
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That quote is a powerful life saver, so soothing and affirming. Thank you for all your sharing.
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I’m so incredibly grateful to wonderful thought generators like Maya Angelou, because she is truly one of the people whose words have helped change my life!
I’m so grateful for the feedback and dialogue we can have together!
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🙏🏼💛✨✨
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