“Remember to treat yourself kindly when your emotions are beating your brain up.”
Giving ourselves grace isn’t something we’re taught if we come from a background of abuse or criticism, in fact, we internalize what we’re being told and repeat it back to ourselves.
What is said to us and how we are treated gets internalized no matter how hard we fight against it, and deny the lies that we’re told, because in the depth of our hearts we fear we’re deserving of it other wise it wouldn’t be happening.
What we don’t realize is that the abusers are acting out of their own damaged areas and projecting their anger onto us.
When I came to understand that damaged people hurt others, and healthy people don’t, it set a lot of things straight in my head and allowed me to finally be able to work on releasing the old fears, angers and hurts I had been holding inside of myself.
Giving ourselves grace to make mistakes is very healthy! We all make mistakes! No one is perfect!
We hold ourselves to an almost unattainable level of perfection, for maybe then we will win the approval of our abusers! Even if they’ve passed on, our spirits have a hard time letting go of the inner need to try to reach a level of becoming pleasing!
It’s hard to understand that trying to do so is like forever chasing a carrot on a stick, because the person we’re seeking approval from is themselves damaged, and doesn’t like themselves, so they’re not going to be ble to give to you what they themselves have difficulty giving themselves!
So how do we find approval? Who will give it to us?
This may sound strange, but if we give ourselves grace and treat ourselves kindly, we learn to feel fulfilled withing our own spirits and we don’t seek it from others!
This is enormously liberating! I felt so fee when I learned this and put it into practice!
Putting it into practice takes, well, practice! none of us will be particularly good at it at first, because it’s bran new territory!
With time and repeated effort it will come more naturally!
You are worthy!
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
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Tamara Kulish 