Alpha male? Beta male? …maybe a Gamma male? Or what?

**Warning: long post! Sorry guys, this one is extra long! I fell down the research rabbit hole, and I just can’t bear not sharing it all! In the name of brevity (or trying to be brief, I’m including the links for the articles I read.

There’s a lot, the information is very varied, and unfortunately for me, didn’t answer my questions, but brought up so many more!

If you’re a man I guess you need to decide for yourself where you fit into the overall scheme, and it may well be that you fit more than one Archetype, as it’s difficult to fit into a box sometimes!

I wouldn’t feel let down about not fitting into just one box, because the reality of life is that most of us don’t fit into just one box, yet are pressured by society’s whims and ideas to force ourselves to fit a box where we can be perceived as a “winner”.

The problems men are currently facing boil down to the fact that for a very long time we have been conditioned to think there are only 2 boxes to fit into and have pressured ourselves and those around us to “force-fit”, and that has led many of us to deep unhappiness.

Feel free to claim more than 1 archetype, there are no rules saying you can’t, and we all sometimes display different behaviors in different situations, for example: at work, at home, with friends, playing sports, etc.


I have many deep conversations with my 15-year-old grandson. This post was inspired by one of those conversations.

– Unknown

He is a young man who is trying to figure out who he is, how the world works, and how to navigate the extreme Misandry (/mɪˈsændri/: hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men) he experiences from the girls in school who are also trying to figure out who they are.

He is very troubled by how women are seeing men these days, the messages he receives from family, friends, school, and society on how to behave like a man, and what his own inner self is telling him.

Men are presented with 2 archetypes to choose from: the ALPHA male or the BETA male, yet how is a young man supposed to choose between those 2 if he doesn’t feel either one of them fits who he is? Are there in fact other archetypes men can identify with?

In my discussion with my grandson, he said he’s definitely not an Alpha male, yet the stereotype of a Beta male didn’t seem to fit him either since he’s not a submissive, pushover type. So, I thought we should coin the term Gamma for the men who are careful before responding, have self-control, are logical vs. emotional, and have internal motivation.

Little did I know before researching this piece that there are a few categories already in circulation! My research has shown me there are a few other archetypes, and I can see why there’s confusion about them since different websites offer different information.

So in the name of helping young men and men figure out who they are if they don’t fall into the 2 buckets people tend to want to put them into, I’m going to offer more information about these types, along with the links where I found it, so you can fall down that rabbit hole too do your own research.

Different Archetypes of Males

Once I started down the research rabbit hole, I found there are a few types of archetypes, but since the Greek letter format is what triggered this whole post, I’ll stick to that (but briefly show the others).

Naturally, women will find themselves in some of these archetypes too, so feel free to read, get confused, and clain which one(s) speak to you!

Non-Greek letter Archetypes:

3 Masculine archetypes

Rugged, Refined, and Rakish – Masculine Style (link)

  • Rugged Man
  • Refined Man
  • Rakish Man

The Four Archetypes of the Mature Masculine:

According to the article “The Four Archetypes of the Mature Masculine: Introduction” on the website Art of Manliness, the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculineby Jungian psychologist Robert Moore and mythologist Douglas Gillette, originally published in 1990, served to influence the mythopoetic men’s movement of the early 1990s.

  • King
  • Warrior
  • Magician
  • Lover

This one article opens up a whole Pandora’s box of different types, dizzying to try to understand, to say the least! If this intrigues you, then definitely follow the link above to read the article, as well as to explore even more archetypes listed in some of their other articles!

The 8 Masculine Archetypes:

According to Mrs Midwest, there are 8 types of men:

  • The Cowboy: Aragorn Son of Arathorn, Ranger of the North: the ultimate Cowboy
  • The Intellectual: Mr. Sherlock Holmes
  • The Sergeant: Captain America
  • The Artist: Singer-Songwriter John Mayer
  • The Connector: Leonardo DiCaprio playing Jordan Belfort, in the film Wolf of Wallstreet
  • The Challenger: Martin Luther challenged the authority and office of the Pope in the teachings of the Bible
  • The Inventor: Elon Musk, engineer, business magnate
  • The Island Man: Matthew McConaughey playing Ben “Finn” Finnegan, in Fool’s Gold -2008

Getting overwhelmed? Wait, there are more!

twelve brand archetypes (usually reserved for companies, but can reflect people too): 

According to OVO there are 12 Brand Archetypes, these are related to companies, but, I figured I should include them since they seem to echo what is happening with the masculine archetypes.

  • The Innocent: Exhibits happiness, goodness, optimism, safety, romance, and youth. Example brands include: Coca-Cola, Nintendo Wii, Dove
  • Everyman: Seeks connections and belonging; is recognized as supportive, faithful and down-to-earth. Example brands include: IKEA, Home Depot, eBay
  • Hero: On a mission to make the world a better place, the Hero is courageous, bold, inspirational. Example brands include: Nike, BMW, Duracell
  • Outlaw: Questions authority and breaks the rules; the Rebel craves rebellion and revolution. Example brands include: Virgin, Harley-Davidson, Diesel (jeans)
  • Explorer: Finds inspiration in travel, risk, discovery, and the thrill of new experiences. Example brands include: Jeep, Red Bull, REI
  • Creator: Imaginative, inventive and driven to build things of enduring meaning and value. Example brands include: Lego, Crayola, Adobe
  • Ruler: Creates order from the chaos, the Ruler is typically controlling and stern, yet responsible and organized. Example brands include: Mercedes-Benz, Microsoft, British Airways
  • Magician: Wishes to create something special and make dreams a reality, the Magician is seen as visionary and spiritual. Example brands include: Apple, Disney, Absolut
  • Lover: Creates intimate moments, inspires love, passion, romance and commitment. Example brands include: Victoria’s Secret, Chanel, Haagen Dazs
  • Caregiver: Protects and cares for others, is compassionate, nurturing and generous. Example brands include: Johnson & Johnson, Campbell’s Soup, UNICEF
  • Jester: Brings joy to the world through humor, fun, irreverence and often likes to make some mischief. Example brands include: Old Spice, Ben & Jerry’s, M&Ms
  • Sage: Committed to helping the world gain deeper insight and wisdom, the Sage serves as the thoughtful mentor or advisor. Example brands include: Google, PBS, Philips

5 Greek letter Archetypes:

As you will see below, there are a few different schools of thought even regarding the Greek letter system of categorizing men.

According to Anna Scheucher who wrote “The five male archetypes: Everything you need to know” on IDEAPOD, there are five male archetypes.

  • Alpha
  • Beta
  • Sigma
  • Delta
  • Gamma
  • Omega (this isn’t on Anna’s list, but it does appear on other lists, so I’ll add the info in paragraphs below)

Her thoughts differ from the illustration I found below and are in a different order than the Greek alphabet:

LetterName
Α αalphaάλφα 
Β βbetaβήτα 
Γ γgammaγάμμα 
Δ δdeltaδέλτα 
Σ σ/ς, Ϲ ϲ[note 4]sigmaσίγμα 
Ω ωomegaωμέγα 

ALPHA male

This is a highly stereotyped category to throw men into, Misandrists especially seem to have this archetype in mind when speaking negatively about men, particularly when referring to the negative side of the Alpha male.

The ALPHA male is typified by dominant, aggressive behavior, being a go-getter, and being bold, but of course, for every positive trait, there is a negative flip side too.

According to Career Coaching on the Harvard Business Review site, where I found the article “Coaching the Alpha Male” written by Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson, approximately 70% of all senior executives are Alpha males, and many need career coaching.

Most people feel stress when they have to make important decisions; alphas get stressed when tough decisions don’t rest in their capable hands. For them, being in charge delivers such a thrill, they willingly take on levels of responsibility most rational people would find overwhelming. In fact, it’s hard to imagine the modern corporation without alpha leaders.

The alphas we’ve worked with think very fast, and this rapid processing can prevent them from listening to others—especially those who don’t communicate in alphaspeak. Their impatience can cause them to miss subtle but important details. Alphas, moreover, have opinions about everything, and they rarely admit that those opinions might be wrong or incomplete. Early in life, alphas realize that they are smarter than most people, smarter perhaps than even their parents and teachers; as adults they believe that their insights are unique and so put complete faith in their instincts.

Alphas require skilled coaches because it’s difficult for them to ask for help or even to acknowledge that they need it. They’re typically stubborn and resistant to feedback. After all, they haven’t gotten where they are by being self-reflective. As much as they love talking about accountability, they often fail to see that their own communication style, rather than someone else’s shortcomings, is what’s creating the roadblock. They’re uncomfortable showing vulnerability or taking a break from constant action. 

“Coaching the Alpha Male” written by Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson

Why would Alphas need career coaching if they already possess the desirable traits for the position? Well, the flip side of those traits can make them difficult to work and live with!

When we look at the above list, on the risk side (or the negative side), it is easy to see where the Misandry can come in for women when dealing with the negative side of the Alpha: closed-minded, domineering, intimidating, dismissive or demeaning, impatient, resists changes which may be beneficial, constantly dissatisfied, fails to be appreciative, generates fear, has unreasonable expectations, doesn’t see when others are tired or sick, difficult to connect with and doesn’t inspire teams.

Wow! That speaks so strongly about the domineering, narcissistic, or even abusive men we encounter in our lives, doesn’t it?

BETA male

The only other choice men are usually presented with is the Beta male, who is stereotyped as being weak, submissive, emotionally needy, and sexlessly unattractive because he lacks the electrifying high levels of testosterone of the Alphas.

Not very inspiring for young men trying to find their place in this world or for the young women trying to figure out how to interact with them, is it?

Dictionary Definitions from Oxford Languages 

beta male

noun

  1. a subordinate male animal in a particular group.”alpha and beta males will share paternity of cubs sired when two females are in estrus”
    • a man tending to assume a passive or subservient role in social or professional situations.”there’s nothing macho about him—he’s a total beta male”

In “The Beta Male Explained: Understanding the Loyal Lieutenant” by Joshua Sigafus on the Adult Man, the Beta Male Definition:

Beta males are the ‘lieutenants’ of the socio sexual hierarchy. They’re fiercely loyal to their alphas. In exchange for this loyalty, they enjoy many of the benefits of high status and position. Beta males are crucial to a stable hierarchy, and enforce the alpha’s rules to maintain order and structure.

Beta males serve as loyal subordinates to the alpha. They lead the deltas and gammas on his behalf, enforce the rules of the hierarchy, and report back to the alpha. In return, they expect to partake in the benefits that come from being ‘the leader’s right-hand men.’ They desire recognition and shared credit from the alpha, and demand respect from the deltas and gammas of the hierarchy.

They’re also the enforcers of the hierarchy. 

The guy who comes alongside you to ‘warn you’ that your behavior probably isn’t going to win you any favors—that guy is most likely a beta male acting as an ‘enforcer’ for the alpha. 

The most common misconception about the term ‘beta male’ comes from the early days of the pickup community. 

Back in those days, pickup artists would lump men into two groups. 

Alphas were the strong, powerful men who succeeded with women, and betas were the weak, loser men who didn’t.

“The Beta Male Explained: Understanding the Loyal Lieutenant” by Joshua Sigafus on the Adult Man

Gamma Male – Urban Dictionary

The next paragraph was written by TalkinBonobo September 13, 2014,

A person who rejects status and authority, believing that thinking for oneself is possible and desirable, and valuing freedom most. This orientation puts them at odds with most people in society so Gammas tend to be perceived as outsiders, but outsider status may or may not be important to their identity. Their attitudes towards society tend to alternate towards disdain for “the herd”(Betas) and their cattle ranchers (Alphas), and a struggle to just accept people as they are and give up bitterness. Often they find a small group of other gammas and proud Betas to hang out with.

TalkinBonobo September 13, 2014,

From Alpha To Gamma, Here Are 5 Male Personality Types That Decide Your Characteristic Traits (link)

Delta Male

According to The Delta Male Explained: The Importance of the Average Joe by Joshua Sigafus, Deltas are the normal guys we see all around us.

The delta male is the most common type of man in the socio sexual hierarchy. They’re the backbone of society and consist of ‘normal’ guys who show up to their jobs and lives, contribute to society, and take pride in those contributions. But this is also the archetype that is most likely to move up or down the hierarchy as they develop themselves, or as the hierarchy itself shifts and changes.

They’re also arguably the most important part of their associated hierarchies.

Why?

Because delta males are the men who do the work and get things done

They show up to their jobs, they put in their time, they contribute to society in a meaningful way, they spend money on the things they enjoy, and they keep society moving forward. 

They also define the success and smooth-functioning of organizations, projects, operations, and hierarchical groups. 

Deltas are the guys on the assembly line. They’re the everyday men who roll up their sleeves and make sure that work gets done. Without deltas, the alpha has nobody to command, and the sigma has no societal infrastructure within which to practice his freedom.

Without deltas, every hierarchy collapses. 

When deltas collectively choose to leave a hierarchy, everything crumbles and turns to chaos (this is what happens when workers go on strike). 

The Delta Male Explained: The Importance of the Average Joe by Joshua Sigafus

Sigma

In 17 Signs & Characteristics of a Sigma Male by Sarah Kristenson (which I won’t list here because it’s information overload, but if you want to read more please follow the link.)

In masculinist subcultures, the term sigma male” is used to describe a popular, successful, but highly independent and self-reliant man. Far-right activist and writer, Theodore Robert Beale, aka, Vox Day, is believed to be the one who first coined the term.

Social commentators and members of the manosphere have different ideas of who really is the sigma male. According to Di Placido, he is “essentially, an introverted alpha male.” Only, he’s a “lone wolf.” Others opine that he is as powerful as the alpha but not subordinate as the beta male.

Sigma represents a male archetype that has been in existence eons ago, but it has only recently been trending. Once you go over their characteristics, you’ll realize this particular male archetype isn’t your average guy.

What sets him apart from the rest is his decision to walk the solitary path and color outside the lines. He doesn’t subscribe to the normal social dominance hierarchy construct which, by the way, some say is imaginary and arbitrarily made up.

7 Signs & Characteristics of a Sigma Male by Sarah Kristenson

Sarah pulls her information from: The Pseudoscience Behind The ‘Sigma Male,’ by Dani Di Placido, where I found this interesting quote:

What is an Alpha Male?

For those who are unfamiliar with manhood mythology, the concept of an alpha male is based on the absurdly illogical belief that groups of humans resemble a wolf pack, destined to be led by an aggressive, domineering leader, AKA, the “alpha.”

Not only is this not how humans operate, it’s not even how wolf packs function; the now-debunked theory was based on observations of wolves living in captivity, and subsequent studies of wild wolves concluded that wolf behavior was far more nuanced than a binary between an alpha and his cowering subordinates.

But the correction came too late – the concept of an alpha male stuck around, firmly embedded in pop culture, an ideology that can justify oppressive hierarchies and reduce people to empty stereotypes. The alpha male is practically a star sign, imbued with hint of incel ideology, used to confirm poisonous perspectives and exaggerate pre-existing insecurities.

Then last, but not least…

Omega

According to the MacMillan Dictionary:

omega male noun [countable]

a man who chooses not to have a powerful or important role in a social or professional situation

‘While the alpha male wants to dominate and the beta male just wants to get by, the omega male has either opted out or, if he used to try, given up.’

MacMillan Dictionary

Though the label omega male has negative overtones, arguably functioning as a kind of euphemism for reference to a ‘slacker‘, a recent article in Canada’s Globe and Mail puts a positive spin on the concept in relation to parenthood, pointing out that:

‘… the much-maligned qualities that qualify men as “omega males” – an apparent absence of testosterone, a childlike affinity for fun, a surplus of disposable time – are exactly the qualities that can transform men into remarkable fathers.’

GLOBE AND MAIL 17TH JUNE 2011

I have no idea if I was able to clear anything up for you, I’m still trying to figure it out for myself! Maybe the better point to make is: don’t try to fit in any box, you didn’t come in one, and you probably don’t fit any out there, so just decide for yourself who you are. If you tick all the boxes, go for “all of the above”!

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!

I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:

More good stuff:

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/

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24 thoughts on “Alpha male? Beta male? …maybe a Gamma male? Or what?

    1. I agree with you 100%! Originally I was seeking a viable 3rd option to Alpha or Beta for my grandson, but the rabbit hole went very deep! I had no idea there were so many categories, and rather than it clarifying things for men, it seems to add layers of complication. I’ve marched to my own drummer for a long time, but it took some unlearning of societal expectations plus giving myself permission to just be, whatever that meant and however it appears to others.

      I can understand the confusion men feel, for any foray into the “manosphere” as James L put it, results in conflicting ideas.

      I let both my husbands know it was okay to cry, never passed judgment on them, but was as supportive as I knew how. Being a man is difficult today with so many shifting norms and expectations, so I guess men are trying to find the liferaft which fits them so they can get through this mess!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I totally agree! It’s hard for them, mainly because no one implicitly or explicitly tells them what to do or how to be, the way we do with girls, young ladies, and women :-/

        Instead, we just kind of fuss at them when something happens, as if they were supposed to know crying is okay, for example. There was never a massive newsflash guiding their gender role.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Exactly! Even amongst women, there are huge disparities in what is “acceptable” male behavior and what isn’t. This is a crucial piece of the puzzle because men have to live with the women who are their wives, mothers, sisters, etc. Women aren’t known for keeping quiet or for keeping opinions to themselves and will be very vocal to men, telling them how to think, behave, dress, etc.

          If we could all just give ourselves to be “whatever” and just be the best versions of ourselves that we know how to be. *sigh* That may be a while off though!

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi Tamara,

    Hope you are well!

    I had to comment as I didn’t expect when I logged into to read the WordPress reader that I would, but seeing a post looking indepth at alpha/beta males etc.

    I have to share my story with this, as about a decade ago I suffered a pretty painful breakup with a girl who had been a long term friend, but a pretty short term fling.

    With my hopes dashed that our friendship wasn’t like some will they-won’t they romcom situation where it all would come together in the end, I felt lost and with it looking for answers I turned to the Internet.

    This is where I stumbled upon the manosphere, which I can best describe as made up of a series of groups with a range of philosphies to modern day dating from the pick-up artists, who viewed it as a game to play in their favour for casual sex, to the other side – the men going their own way (shortened to MGTOW) who had voluntary opted out of the dating pool, to those who hadn’t, but had developed a black view, of women and relationships – the incels.

    Where did I sit? Despite being hurt, I felt I was somewhere inbetween – still holding out hope that a normal, healthy relationship with the opposite sex was possible, but also open to exploring these ideas, with the intent of using some of these to my advantage.

    With my confidence shattered, I started reading the pick up artist books. Not with the same end goal these books were marketed around, but more to give a sense of hope, and also understand women.

    The latter part was the negative part, as alot of the literature attempting to understand women is based on theory, and ideas on the perspective of the author – these often painted a pretty negative view of women (and the world), and it’s no wonder during those years I was pretty angry at the time.

    The positive was it did help rebuild my confidence, one of the big things I learnt was to see myself as the prize, stop being needy, and not getting hung up on seeing a girl I find attractive as “the one”. It was an empowering moment in my life going to bar with this new found attitude, approaching a girl, being rejected, and moving straight on, rather than taking this rejection personally.

    This attitude did lead me to finding the woman who would eventually become my wife, and she helped rescue me in many ways from these negative ideals of women as she proved most of these theories wrong as I realised not all women are the same. The anger subsided, I was able to move on and look forward with life.

    From my own perspective, I find it surprising how far these come that the ideas driven by the manosphere now seem pretty mainstream that they are being discussed at your grandsons school.

    I used to sweat that I was a beta male (or worse an omega male), and how I could be more alpha – but I think the best way of looking at it is that true alpha males aren’t even worry about it – they just do it!

    With marriage, I’m kinda glad that I’m out of the dating pool, as with the misandry and misogyny views of the sexes, it looks like a battle from the outside. I guess my advice to anyone reading is to be a bit more understanding and appreciate the differences between men and women, stop finding ways to hate each other, and open yourself (no matter how much you’ve been hurt), to be loved.

    Wow… I realise this reply is a bit long! As you say the topic can become a bit of a rabbit hole, and reading your post, I could have taken my response in all sorts of directions.

    I wish your grandson the very best for the future and hope he doesn’t let the whole alpha/beta male thing worry him too much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. James, I admire anyone’s progress with understanding the opposite sex, as well as the inner work being done!

      “I guess my advice to anyone reading is to be a bit more understanding and appreciate the differences between men and women, stop finding ways to hate each other, and open yourself (no matter how much you’ve been hurt), to be loved.” I love this. I agree with it, it’s really difficult to really see another person for who they are if we’re angry and the anger becomes the filter through which we try to understand the world. As you know, any relationship where anger is the primary leading force is doomed, and both people will suffer.

      I love long answers, and I thank you so much for sharing what you went through, for it takes courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The Alpha never wants to be vulnerable and will use every tactic to prevent it from happening, but vulnerability is what allows us to truly connect with others and form attachments.

      The Alpha has made vulnerability into a dirty word and has equated it with helplessness. The two aren’t even in the same universe of actions, but when we put up guards and roadblocks to prevent any chink in the armor from showing, EVERYTHING gets thrown out!

      I’m very happy for both you and your wife that you found each other, and you have helped each other to grow. You didn’t say she had, but I’m assuming she has, for becoming close with someone has that effect.

      There’s still so much uncertainty in the “manosphere” regarding what a “real” man is, and honestly, there’s a type for everyone, so why bother trying to squeeze into a box we’re not meant to be in?

      These archetypes are constructs, with new ones coming up regularly, so as long as we understand that they’re made up, we can feel free to make our own which suits us better!

      Most people are a mash-up of different archetypes, and given our changing moods and states of mental health throughout a week or month, our answers will change sometimes quite dramatically each time we take a quiz!

      My grandson seems to be marching to the beat of his own drum, and he has his mother’s and my full support to try out different aspects of his personality and figure out who he is.

      This is a wonderful gift we can give each other.

      Like

      1. With anger when I first met my wife I kept thinking of ways that she would hurt me, and my mind had been clouded with all the negative redpill tropes that “all women do this…”

        It was through continuing the relationship I realised these ideas were false (or at least you couldn’t say “all women”)

        Next year I will be 40 and the last decade has been my happiest, my wife has been with me for most of my 30’s, which has contributed as its someone I can always be the real me and vulnerable – so yes in a way we have both grown together.

        My movement away from the manosphere was it started to feel like group think – same attitudes to women, same hobbies, same politics – I didn’t want to get put in that box.

        I’m glad your grandson is doing things his way, the internet/social media is a powerful weapon that can manipulate easily influenced minds!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I totally understand what you’re saying about men perceiving women to all be the same. I was on the opposite side, where I needed to keep proving to both my husbands that I wasn’t cut of the same cloth. It’s exhausting and is one of the things preventing me from dating again because I don’t think I have that kind of bandwidth to prove myself a 3rd time.

          Yes, I’m happy for my grandson, he has an opportunity to choose for himself, but he’s dealing with extreme mysandry from the girls who proclaim they hate all men and all men should die. *SIGH*

          Like

          1. That’s crazy, and to wish a whole group of people should die is… Well I don’t know what to say to that. I hope for the girls sake it’s just immaturity and a phase! Men and women – we need each other to balance us out!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I agree with you James, we need one another and we need to learn to get along and to communicate with each other. High school kids don’t have a lot of maturity, so I’m hoping they do mature and learn a different perspective. It’s often 1 opinionated leader of the pack and the rest follow suit. Hopefully, they grow out of it, or else, lookout guys, there are drama-filled girls headed your way!

              Like

  2. Wow, really interesting. A lot of this is very new information for me. I think the world is a tough place for both women and men since there are so many rigid boxes we need to fit into and when we don’t we often feel like an outsider or like there is something wrong with us. It’s nice that your grandson has someone like you to talk to who can help him when he’s confused.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Pooja! I count myself blessed to be able to have these kinds of discussions with him. I was not aware of all those archetypes either. We had come up with another alternative together, little realizing that others had done this before us. As an artistic person, I don’t fit certain stereotypes and have had people react negatively towards me based on their perceptions of those stereotypes. We’re each unique individuals, so maybe we need to stop trying to fit into someone else’s box for us!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve had similar reactions from people because I can be pretty outside the box in some ways. However, I just ignore them and let it go. Some peoples minds are just too narrow to realise that we’re all unique in our own way and no one fits in just one box!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Right?! I had many people trying to force me into a box so they could understand me. I used to try to fit in the boxes, but they really didn’t fit well, the people got upset with me for not being cooperative, and I learned to walk away. I ended up seeing that no matter how much I twisted and contorted myself to fit their ideas, I never could match their ideals. No one needs that kind of judgmentalism in their life, for we are indeed judged if we don’t fit into their ideas of how limited we should be. Maybe we should just create our own lives, and surprisingly, they probably aren’t box-shaped at all!

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Wynne, I had no idea myself! I was just trying to find an answer for him, and found too many! I guess he’s going to have to figure that one out himself! Yes, I feel blessed to be able to have these kinds of conversations with him; not every kid wants to nor are they always able to!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. And then there is the let go when we do finally find ourselves, and measuring ourselves against others loses that need because we finally understand us. This journey has all that ‘conditional’ measuring so that we can see what we are not…and finally understand that what we had been searching for was that isolation of doubt and fear that always makes us feel ‘separated’ from everyone, and especially ourselves. And on the day we finally understand our fear, all that separation is gone because we can see it was all based on those fears. And on that day it all won’t matter because we will finally accept ourselves, and in doing so accept others, exactly as they are, no longer judging it in any way. We cannot truly love another until we love ourselves, and this life will teach that. How can we love truly until we understand what it is, so busy on guard for our fears and doubts and this life will drag us uphill and down dale through all those emotions until we see the truth of our lifelong fears so that we can understand us, and the unconditional love just under it all waiting for us to see it clearly through that understanding. And it is beyond words. On the day it happens our entire world will change, we will stand in a tearful shock, big, beautiful happy tears in seeing that it all indeed had a purpose. Each and every step, good, bad and everything in between has taken us to this destination…and looking back…would never change a one…ever. So what male am I? Finally, an aware one. May we all find that ‘type’ 🤣❤️🙏🏽

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    1. *Happy dance!* Yes! I’m in total agreement with you! Unfortunately, people still need to see who they are in comparison to everyone else, the need to figure out where they fit into the hierarchy is stronger when self-love, self-actualization, and independent thinking have been developed. Within many circles, that’s frowned upon. One only has to look at how some churches or companies are handling these things… their existence depends on keeping people uncertain and in limbo!

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