*Parts of this post have been inspired by conversations I’ve been having with a few people and seem to have come together to grow this post! If you see yourself here, please smile, and know that you have inspired me!
I’m always prepared that I just might do that! I seem to walk slightly out of step with others, so the possibility of being seen as a fool is strong. Just knowing and owning this lets me be free to enjoy just being myself!
In a world where the image of being pulled together and perfect set an impossibly high bar, sometimes giving ourselves the freedom to just own who we are, let our hair down and stop worrying about being accepted is such a breath of fresh air!
I can’t tell you how many YEARS I agonized about not meeting with other people’s approval, or worse, living in fear of their disapproval. As long as my energy was focused on THAT, it was as though that was exactly what I attracted into my life!
The disapprovers showed their colors to me time and again, when they showed me they really just wanted to control me and my life because they felt they could do a better job at it than I could.
Even if that were true, it was still my life to live!
I spend YEARS giving away my power and allowing others to have the remote control in my life.
Were they shocked when I took it back? Yes. Interestingly though, life rearranged itself, and they were no longer a part of my life!
The relief of no longer having them in my life, daily telling me what to do, how I was falling short, and being a disappointment to them was palpable. I felt the absence in my bones, the way a refreshing breeze feels on the skin on a hot day. It felt absolutely wonderful to be released!
Did I still struggle with guilt, feeling like I was somehow disloyal for choosing myself and being okay about leaving them? Yes, that was a huge part of learning to be me and to stand on my feet, for I had bought into the lies they had told me that I couldn’t live without them or that I would die without them.
The transition was difficult as I had to take baby steps for a long, long time to learn how to be in charge of my life, my thoughts, and my mental state, for waiting on them to do it for me yielded a big, fat zero. Less than zero in fact, for their efforts, eroded my sense of self so deeply that I struggled to feel okay just being me.
Giving ourselves permission to step away from how certain people use acceptance in order to control us is a huge, milestone step!
If you have already done it, bravo, BRAVO to you!
If you’re struggling with this step, know that it’s okay to go very slowly, to take small, minuscule baby steps! Guess what? They’re still steps!
The trick I discovered to learning how to make this transition lies in NOT trying to learn it all at once or from one place!
It is a gradual process, where we learn a small piece and then practice it for a while until we feel comfortable enough to try the next piece.
Sometimes we just need to let each lesson percolate through all the layers of muck that have built up inside of us over the years, so each little truth can finally connect with our spirit, allowing a piece of the growth to happen.
The process can feel very long, and almost as though we’re in the dark, unable to see our progress, but that is actually what is happening to us because we’re all seeds growing.
Remember this: seeds grow through the manure to become beautiful plants! If you’re feeling like you’re in the dark and life is a bunch of manure right now, you may just be a seed growing! That’s a good thing!
With all the struggles we go through as humans, all these struggles and the lessons we learn become the beautiful flowers in our lives. Some people accumulate enough flower lessons to fill a pretty vase, while others have gone on to create beautiful botanical gardens with all the lessons and knowledge they have learned.
There are 100’s of ways and tools to approach this very thing! Even with all my books and posts I probably haven’t covered everything, nor will I be everyone’s cup of tea. That’s why there are so many of us writing and sharing our experiences, for we will each be able to help a few people! We’re all a part of this solution!
We’re all on this learning journey, and each of us is making the choices that resonate the most with us at that given time.
Nothing is set in stone. Just because we started out on one path or one direction seemed to make sense for us at that time, doesn’t mean we can’t change course!
We’re free to choose our next step, at each moment. In fact, we do, whether we realize it or not, for even doing nothing is a choice.
What do you want your next step to look like?
I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, and Follow my blog!
If you want to become a Guest writer, please contact me and we’ll work out the details!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
- Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
- By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
- Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
- Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
- An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
- My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
- A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
- Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
- A new you! Is this possible?
- Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
- There is no enlightenment outside of daily life – Thich Nhat Hanh
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