“Remember to treat yourself kindly when your emotions are beating your brain up.”

Giving ourselves grace isn’t something we’re taught if we come from a background of abuse or criticism, in fact, we internalize what we’re being told and repeat it back to ourselves.

What is said to us and how we are treated gets internalized no matter how hard we fight against it, and deny the lies that we’re told, because in the depth of our hearts we fear we’re deserving of it other wise it wouldn’t be happening.

What we don’t realize is that the abusers are acting out of their own damaged areas and projecting their anger onto us.

When I came to understand that damaged people hurt others, and healthy people don’t, it set a lot of things straight in my head and allowed me to finally be able to work on releasing the old fears, angers and hurts I had been holding inside of myself.

Giving ourselves grace to make mistakes is very healthy! We all make mistakes! No one is perfect!

We hold ourselves to an almost unattainable level of perfection, for maybe then we will win the approval of our abusers! Even if they’ve passed on, our spirits have a hard time letting go of the inner need to try to reach a level of becoming pleasing!

It’s hard to understand that trying to do so is like forever chasing a carrot on a stick, because the person we’re seeking approval from is themselves damaged, and doesn’t like themselves, so they’re not going to be ble to give to you what they themselves have difficulty giving themselves!

So how do we find approval? Who will give it to us?

This may sound strange, but if we give ourselves grace and treat ourselves kindly, we learn to feel fulfilled withing our own spirits and we don’t seek it from others!

This is enormously liberating! I felt so fee when I learned this and put it into practice!

Putting it into practice takes, well, practice! none of us will be particularly good at it at first, because it’s bran new territory!

With time and repeated effort it will come more naturally!

You are worthy!

More goodness:

• You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
• Change how you see and see how you change.
• Make yourself strong!
• WARNING: This post may be triggering! Instead of getting defensive, say, “Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. I’ll consider them.”
• It’s never too late to teach ourselves!
• Don’t speak negatively about yourself!!
• Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything you are.
• Creating Mindful Distance of Thoughts… what’s that?
• The power of words
• Resilience is knowing that YOU are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up
• I do not allow others to influence my thinking unless it is positive or uplifting.
• Every thought we think is creating our future
• Allowing 2 truths to coexist isn’t nuts!

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

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