Your past isn’t a life sentence!

Never be a prisoner of your past. It was a lesson, not a life sentence!

Letting go of the past isn’t easy. We hold tightly to what hurt us, nursing old hurts, when what we want and need the most is to heal.

If we nurse the pains while waiting for the person who hurt us to make it right and make us whole, we may wait for many years in vain, while the pain festers. Feelings of betrayal layer over the initial hurts, resentment builds that our perpetrator doesn’t seem to care enough to do the work we want them to do.

I know, because I experienced those hurts.

When I learned that damaged people hurt others, healthy people don’t, it enabled a huge shift in my mind and heart.

Instead of waiting for my perpetrator to help me heal, I realized that I needed to take on this job myself!

It was a huge mental shift. It was hard taking charge of my own healing, so I just did my best.

There were many ups and downs over the years but the results have been incredible!

I no longer feel chained by my past, but freed from the burden of carrying the negative. While my life wasn’t easy, I learned many valuable lessons which have helped me.

One of the things I had to accept was that I wasn’t going to have the story book relationship with my mother, she still doesn’t have the tools to have healthy relationships.

I had to learn to accept that she’s where she is in life and it will be up to her to work on herself, it’s not something that I can do for her. Trust me, I’ve spent years trying.

Understanding the bigger picture of what happened to our perpetrator to create their inner damage is an important step in learning acceptance.

We need to learn acceptance in order to be able to let go of our pains, in order to heal and become at peace and be happy!

If you’re struggling and trying to start your own healing process, remember, it’s a process. Keep at it! You’re worth it!

Peace,
Tamara

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