“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it.”
I overstayed my time in my second marriage. I knew it was over, very over, but I stayed because I had invested $50,000 in our business and he kept stringing me along with getting the money back in order to get me to stay.
That was a lot of money, so I stayed, trying to recoup my losses. I just couldn’t bear the thought of having invested so much, not only my money, but I had jumped in with my whole heart. I couldn’t bear the thought of not only losing out on love, but having been used for my money.
My pride kept me in a situation I should have left long before.
The universe intervened in my life.
I moved far from him and into my daughter’s home when the littlest one was re-diagnosed with cancer. Originally I was planning on staying only as long as the course of the treatments, to help her out with all three kids.
However when he became verbally abusive towards me because “I didn’t understand how lonely he was” while I was away, my eyes were finally opened to how toxic and unhealthy the relationship really was, and I was finally able to release my hopes of getting repaid.
I made the mistake of trading my happiness for a result I was hoping to get. I couldn’t bear the thought of walking away and losing everything.
What I didn’t understand then, in trying to salvage something from a lost situation, was I had been slowly losing pieces of myself by trying to stick it through.
Staying was a lose-lose situation, I felt it in my bones, but I wasn’t ready to accept it.
Too many times we stay in lose-lose situations, even though we know in our hearts it’s over.
The thought of walking away and losing everything can be too much to handle, so we stay.
Just because things don’t work out how we thought they would isn’t a good reason to sacrifice our well-being in order to try to force things to finally work out.
I learned that lesson the hard way. As tough as it was to work through all my inner damage from my past which had contributed to my accepting that situation for as long as I did, I’m happy to have learned that lesson, finally!
In teaching myself to like and then to love myself, I realized that setting limits on what what acceptable to me was vitally important to my mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to walk away from something.
Sometimes the perceived payoff isn’t worth what we stand to lose in our mental and emotional health. Sometimes clinging to a mistake ends up being the mistake.
Remember, nothing is set in stone.
Even when we feel trapped by a decision we made or a circumstance we found our-self in, we still have choices.
We aren’t losers because we walk away, potentially losing everything. We aren’t losers if we aren’t ready to leave.
We’re not losers! We’re a work in progress!
We forgive ourselves for mistakes we make, for we’re learning and growing!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
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