Many of you know that I’ve long been an ardent proponent of doing the inner work to change how we think and respond to the world around us. Our minds are capable of making incredible changes with how our base-line responses can be changed from negatively seeing the world, feeling anxious to becoming someone who sees themselves and their own possibilities in a new way.

Having rewired my own brain from having been trained to see myself as being unworthy because of what I had gone through in my childhood and young adulthood, I had set out to teach myself to like myself when one day I had an inner epiphany that I didn’t like myself at all. I was tired of spiraling down a rabbit-hole of depression and abhorrently hateful self-talk whenever I hit a barrier or set-back in my life. I wanted to have a more peaceful inner life instead of the negative barrage that assaulted me too often.

I had managed to heal on the surface so no one really knew how I felt, but deep within I struggled. I didn’t want to keep feeling that way. I had tried to plan my suicide many years ago, but the universe intervened, allowing me to pursue a different path to remove the pain I was carrying around inside of myself.

The journey was raw. The wounds went deep. My inner journey took a long time to accomplish, as I had many years of having absorbed the negativity from how my abusers treated me. I didn’t think it would be possible for someone like me to ever reach a point of liking or accepting myself.

I’ve shared in many posts what I learned. I wish I could say it was easy for me and you can do it too if you follow my easy 3 steps, but the reality is the inner work is really hard. If you’re sick and tired of feeling crappy about yourself and your life, start slowly. Start gently.

It is possible to rewire the way we think, and in the process, we allow ourselves to heal deeply. I’ll post some links at the end if you want to follow those steps.

I’m delighted to share with you an article “The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive“.

For generations we were told that our brains were largely fixed by adulthood, that our personality, habits, emotional tendencies and even our worldview were essentially set in stone. Today, neuroscience is showing us something radically different. Our brains remain malleable, adaptive and incredibly responsive throughout life. This ability to reshape and reorganize itself is known as neuroplasticity, and it is not only a biological process but also a doorway into understanding personal transformation, emotional healing and the deeper spiritual dimensions of being human.

The idea that focusing on the good can literally shift the architecture of the brain is not poetic metaphor. It reflects decades of research into how neural networks strengthen, weaken and reconfigure based on repeated experiences and focused attention. When you choose to look for the good, especially consciously and consistently, you stimulate neural pathways associated with positive emotions, reward, meaning and resilience. Over time the brain begins to prefer these pathways, making optimism and emotional stability feel more natural and automatic.

The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive
https://www.birdsadvice.com/rewire-your-brain-with-neuroplasticity/

We used to be told that who we are and how we think gets solidified during our teen years and that into adulthood it’s pretty much set in stone, yet that’s not true if we choose it not to be true for ourselves.

Our patterns and ways of thinking are remarkably able to change well into adulthood, but it does take time and effort with abundant practice to do so. Merely wishing to change or deciding one will isn’t enough for long-term change to become sustainable and permanent. We need to consciously choose our thoughts.

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change its structure, function and network organization in response to experience. This includes creating new synapses, strengthening existing ones, pruning away unused pathways and reorganizing entire regions of the brain after injury. Far from being static, the brain is always in flux. Each thought, emotion and behavior becomes part of the architecture of the mind itself.

This is also how focusing on the good becomes a reinforced pattern. Each time you redirect your attention to something uplifting, meaningful or safe, you activate neural networks associated with reward, calmness and emotional regulation. Repetition strengthens these pathways. Over time shifting toward optimism becomes less effortful because the brain has wired itself to favor that route.

Conversely, chronic stress, rumination or a negative worldview strengthen pathways associated with threat detection, fear and emotional discomfort. The brain becomes quicker to perceive danger or difficulty not because life is objectively more negative but because those circuits have become dominant through use. Neuroplasticity is neutral in this sense. It will reinforce whatever you practice, whether helpful or harmful.

The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive
https://www.birdsadvice.com/rewire-your-brain-with-neuroplasticity/

As you can see, our negative thoughts reinforce the negative feelings we have about ourselves and our lives, while positive thoughts have the potential to shift our inner feelings.

In the beginning it feels very unnatural to hold onto a positive thought and really feel it belongs within our mind and heart. At least for me it was that way. I tried with the positive affirmations, but they felt too fake, not “me”. It shocked me to realize how badly I thought of myself when I struggled to connect with many of the positive affirmations I was seeing online.

I realized I needed to start smaller.

I realized I needed to start smaller. Much smaller. I had to find things that were believable to me, where I was at the time. So, I started very small. I practiced with baby steps that I thought others would laugh at because they were so small, yet I had to believe what I was saying to myself.

I discovered quotes. They were thoughts other people had experienced and processed, so they seemed more believable than some of the manufactured affirmations I was seeing. Quotes became my lifeline.

When I found a few quotes and thoughts that I could believe in, I wrote them down, I printed them out and put them up on my walls at home and in my office cubicle. I tried to visually surround myself with those thoughts, so when my own thoughts started to slide down the negative rabbit-hole, I’d look at them and repeat them to myself few times. Often, I’d have to take a little break and just gather myself together again.

When I wrote my 2 healing books, I included those quotes that had been my lifelines, so that you, my reader, could feel their gentle strength and support too.

Recognizing this gives us an incredible sense of agency. We are not stuck with default settings. We can participate in building a brain that supports the life we want to live.

The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive
https://www.birdsadvice.com/rewire-your-brain-with-neuroplasticity/

When we start to put this into practice it can feel strange, but over time it becomes more natural. I found that I became less and less reactive to triggers that used to send me spiraling downward. I found I could take a step back and not see everything as a personal attack, and I was able to see that other people had their own issues to work on that had nothing to do with me. When we come out of an abusive or co-dependent home, we tend to absorb blame that isn’t ours. By changing how we see ourselves and our lives, we can release those old triggers and the old metal burdens that wee had no business carrying around.

The mental burden of constantly going through a guilt/shame/blame cycle is exhausting. We do it because we were negatively trained into doing it. Rewiring our brains with new thoughts allows those old go-to’s to gradually drop away. They were the rusty armor we coated ourselves with to try to protect ourselves, and when we change how we think, we find we can release those old fears and patterns.

Finally, neuroplasticity impacts stress regulation. When positive neural circuits strengthen, the brain becomes more resilient to external triggers. The amygdala, which handles emotional reactivity, becomes less reactive. The prefrontal cortex, which governs focus, reasoning and emotional control, becomes more dominant. This shift creates a sense of inner steadiness and emotional clarity.

Over time this can transform the way you see the world. You begin noticing moments of kindness, beauty and opportunity. You respond to challenges with more adaptability. You feel more connected to yourself and others. What began as a cognitive practice eventually becomes a new baseline experience.

The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive
https://www.birdsadvice.com/rewire-your-brain-with-neuroplasticity/

Once we start on this path, our brains become more open to learning and to trying out new helpful practices. We build upon our successes, and that helps to solidify what we’ve been working on, so that when something difficult comes up, everything we’ve learned and practiced doesn’t just evaporate. Okay, it may feel like it has when we’re triggered by something big, but we can remind ourselves of the progress we’ve made and stop our slide down our old rabbit holes. I’ve done that many times. Healing and growth don’t mean that difficult moments won’t come up, it means we don’t have to revert back to our former selves, we can dust ourselves off, get up and keep going.

There is also the phenomenon of metaplasticity, which refers to the brain’s ability to change how it changes. In other words, previous neural activity influences how future plasticity unfolds. This is why consistent attention to inner work increases the brain’s readiness for transformation. Each step paves the way for the next.

The Science Behind Training Your Brain to See the Positive
https://www.birdsadvice.com/rewire-your-brain-with-neuroplasticity/

Some other things to explore that I myself have used: gratitude and anger journaling, mindfulness meditation, learning new skills such as languages, musical instruments or creative arts, physical exercise, quality sleep, social engagement, a nutritious diet.

There are other things that I have put into practice for myself, but please don’t become overwhelmed with them, just start slowly where you are.

Below are more links to help get you started, and for affirmations and positive thoughts, visit Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations. The following are different guided journals I’ve created to help you on your path: Removing Inner Blocks ||  Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal  ||  Joy & Mindfulness Journal   ||  My Boundaries Journal  || My Inner Thoughts Journal   

• Brain Rewiring
• Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
• Habit Power: We are what we repeat
• It’s easy to be a critic, but being a doer requires effort, risk and change.
• You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that.
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 1: how does it physically work in the brain?
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 2: how does it physically work in our body?
• Accepting and Embracing the Depressed Side of Ourselves
• The Power of Positive Words!
• It turns out this isn’t as woo-hoo as I thought it was!
• Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
• As you think so shall you be!
• Even after a setback or negative experience, we can create a “reset” button in our minds!
• Turning Poison into Medicine
• Your triggers are your teachers
• Change the tapes!
• Baby steps serve a purpose to allow us to keep moving forward!
• Baby steps start the whole change happening!
• Teach ourselves to feel positive in order to see more positive things in our lives!!
• Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
• You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
• Change how you see and see how you change.
• Make yourself strong!

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
https://tamarakulish.com/

My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks ||  Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal  ||  Joy & Mindfulness Journal   ||  My Boundaries Journal  || My Inner Thoughts Journal   

Thanks for buying my books on Amazon!

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