We usually listen to be able to answer not to really hear what the other person is saying, so we end up missing large pieces of what’s being said as our brains do gymnastic to figure out our answer.
“Discussions are always better than arguments, because an argument is to find out who is right and a discussion is to find out what is right.”
Deep listening involves suspending our need to come up with a witty comeback or argument point, and instead just listen to what’s being said. Deep listening allows us to take in the tone of voice, the body language and any other non-verbal cues to get an understanding of the person’s frame of mind.

Deep listening also involves asking questions to learn more and to dig deeper, instead of figuring out an oppositional answer.
This holiday season, let’s try doing some deep listening and we may learn something we didn’t know, namely the other person’s point of view and get a feel of what’s going on in their lives.
I cannot promise you that there won’t be arguments or opposition, but if you’re listening to understand, hopefully there will be better communication developed. People feel when they’re really being listened to, and some people are in need of being heard.
Do you need to show that you’re right because you feel strongly about something, or are you able to hear different points of view? After all, there are often many different ways of looking at the same thing, likewise there are many possible solutions. Take for example the Pythagorean Theorem, it was considered unsolvable for 2,000 years, the 2 High Schoolers Who Found ‘Impossible’ Proof of Pythagorean Theorem Discover 9 More Solutions to it!
Just because something has been assumed to be XYZ for generations, doesn’t mean that there aren’t other answers that are viable or better.
Let’s work on some deep listening this holiday season, when we get together with the people we love and don’t love to be around!
Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season! May you deepen your relationships and forge new solutions to possibly some old problems!
Here are some more thoughts to get you prepared for the holidays:
- Generational curses: are they breakable?
- Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it!
- Revenge: is it necessary or not?
- 13 Signs of Serious Anger Issues (you may not think yours are all that bad!)
- Why venting anger just makes us angrier, and ways to deal with it.
- Angry judgementalism is tearing us all apart!
- “Telling it like it is”, it’s hurting us all…
- 16 Phrases People Use When They’re Angry Inside but Don’t Want to Show It, (and how to move beyond.)
- How to trigger your Narcissist (not that you should), and what you can do to live a sane and healthy life
- What is the purpose of an Anger Journal, and why you need one!
- Everyday is a new beginning. Take a deep breath, smile, and START AGAIN.
- The power of stepping away!
- Your emotions: the quiet lazy River or the roller coaster?
- How to predict if a relationship will be difficult
- People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
- Misunderstandings in communication styles can lead to deep divides and fighting, Part 1
- Misunderstandings in communication styles, Part 2, the physical aspect
- Why we’re so attracted to people who end up abusing us
- Reality-show syndrome has changed how we interact and what we find acceptable behavior in others
- What is Toxic Femininity? Is it similar to Toxic Masculinity?
- Pray the universe gives difficult people what they need and not what they deserve!
- Give yourself the love that you deserve and you will receive the love that you deserve
- What’s the opposite of “Hurt people hurt others”?
- If you focus too hard on the problem, the solution can often evade you.
- Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
https://tamarakulish.com/
My books: Now available through Walmart.com!
Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
Removing Inner Blocks || Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal || Joy & Mindfulness Journal || My Boundaries Journal || My Inner Thoughts Journal
Thanks for buying my books on Amazon!
#writing #InspirationalWriting #art #creativity #strength #mentor #teacher #HappinessGuru #love #growth #healing #life, #inspiration, #quotes #happiness #joy #PersonalGrowth #pain #depression #anxiety #SelfEsteem, #LifeSkills #empowerment #encouragement #support #intuition #journal #consciousness #mind #learn #God #universe #angels #spiritual #spirit #awareness #journal #boundaries #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #emotions
Discover more from Tamara Kulish
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Listening is such an amazing skill. Thank you for the reminder and encouragement!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s a difficult skill to learn for those who need to be heard more than they wish to hear others! Often when we come together during family events, we need to be seen and heard, to show how our lives have succeeded, and that can result on talking over others, and not really listening.
Thanks for your insights Wynne, and Happy Holidays to all of you!
LikeLike
Thank you for the helpful suggestions, Tamara. A timely piece as the season invites us to slow down and connect with others. 🙏🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad that you see this too! Yes, let’s slow down in these next few days and really spend meaningful time with our loved ones!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A difficult task, but one much needed, Tamara. Let’s hope people can cram for the test coming up soon! If that fails, we might also want to practice the art of walking away from those who are playing a different game. Thanks for this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I love the alternative, very viable too! Some people are very difficult to listen to, for they don’t reciprocate but instead they love to stir the pot and escalate things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Tamara, I shall try to listen. A holiday gift to myself…and of course those poor others trying to have me listen too 🤣 A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year kind lady, may your home be filled with the listening of love 🤗🦋🎄🎅🎶🎁🕊️🦌☃️❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Mark! I hope you do indeed have a wonderful holiday time!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve found that “deep listening” elicits a spontaneous and engaging interaction/connection with the other person 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely! People feel it when we’re listening to listen to them!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Discussions are always better than arguments, because an argument is to find out who is right and a discussion is to find out what is right.”
I’ve never seen that quote. Absolutely love it though, along with your advice. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much! Yes, that quote was my inspiration! Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season!
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person