No, I’m not advocating triggering your narcissist for fun, nor is this a post to get you to change so they won’t get triggered – you’ll only end up walking around on eggshells.

Once you see a pattern in their behavior and become aware that you’re dealing with a narcissist, you can then make informed choices in your own life. Do you choose to continue the relationship or not?

According to Georgia McCartney in 15 Phrases That Will Trigger a Narcissist Like Nothing Else, there are phrases that will trigger your narcissist and then they will do their best to try to get you to comply to their wishes. All of these show that you’re a different person than them, with different ideas, and that won’t sit well with them for they ardently believe they know best and need to be followed.

1. That’s not how I see it
2. You’re not the focus here
3. You keep changing your story
4. I’m fine without you
5. Calm down
6. You’re wrong about that
7. I don’t trust you
8. Stop acting like a child
9. You should talk to someone
10. I don’t agree with you
11. You’re not the only one who matters
12. You lied
13. I’m not scared of you
14. I don’t need you
15. That’s not true

Georgia McCartney in 15 Phrases That Will Trigger a Narcissist Like Nothing Else

Keep in mind that NOTHING you do or say will change your narcissist. Their behavior is often developed by having been shaped that way. They get a lot out of their behavior, and no amount of trying to reason with them or showering them with love will help them change. In fact, the harder you try, the more their behavior seems to get validated, because ALL attention, even negative attention feeds them.

What CAN you do if you’re in a situation where you need to find ways to keep your sanity and try to hold onto some inner peace?

Piper Ryan shows us in 15 Clever Ways To Show A Narcissist You Won’t Play Their Games strategies to do just that.

1. Don’t react
2. Set clear, non-negotiable boundaries
3. Use “I” statements
4. Maintain financial independence
5. Document everything in a journal or digital notes
6. Avoid sharing personal information
7. Be a broken record
8. Be silent
9. Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain (JADE) – these behaviors only give the narcissist more material to manipulate and control you.
10. Redirect Conversations
11. Use humor wisely – just be cautious not to use sarcasm or mockery, as this can escalate the conflict.
12. Focus on facts, not emotions – by focusing on concrete facts and evidence, you make it a lot harder for them to manipulate the narrative.
13. Create a support system
14. Limit the length of your interactions
15. Know when to walk away – Recognize that in some cases, the best strategy might be to distance yourself or completely cut ties with the narcissist. If their behavior is consistently harmful to your well-being and the other strategies on this list aren’t effective, you have to put yourself first. Maybe you limit contact, end the relationship entirely, or in some cases, seek legal help—whatever it is, just make sure you’re prioritizing your own mental health and safety.

Piper Ryan – 15 Clever Ways To Show A Narcissist You Won’t Play Their Games

When we’re in long-term relationships with a narcissist, and choose to stay, this shows our own co-dependent behavior. We may have had a narcissistic or abusive parent, and that relationship has shaped us so that we identify easily with narcissists and subconsciously filter out everyone else who doesn’t have the same “feel”, as the interactions won’t seem natural.

When we recognize where we have landed in life, the best thing to do is to work on changing and healing ourselves. When we change and heal, the things we used to accept no longer sit well with us.

Forget about trying to get the other person to change, that’s actually their responsibility to do… or not, if they so choose.

Harper Stanley in Want to Stop Attracting Toxic People? Then You Need to Accept These 15 Harsh Truths gives us these pointers:

1. You’re not a fixer-upper project, and neither are they
   “You can’t fix people, and it’s not your job to try. I know, I know, you’ve got a heart of gold and you just want to help. But here’s the deal: toxic people aren’t DIY projects waiting for your magical touch. They’re fully formed adults responsible for their own growth and change. By trying to “fix” them, you’re not only setting yourself up for disappointment but also enabling their toxic behavior.”
2. Your boundaries are flimsy
3. You’re addicted to drama (even if you say you hate it)
4. You’re confusing intensity for intimacy
   “Whirlwind romances, passionate arguments followed by equally passionate makeups, extreme ups and downs—it all feels so exciting, doesn’t it? Like something straight out of a movie. But intensity is not the same as genuine intimacy. In fact, it’s often a red flag for toxic relationships. Real intimacy builds slowly over time.”
5. You’re using relationships as a band-aid for your own issues
6. Your self-esteem is pretty low
   “Low self-esteem is like a magnet for toxic people. They can smell it from a mile away, and boy, do they love it because people with low self-esteem are easier to manipulate, control, and take advantage of.”
7. You’re addicted to the “potential” rather than the reality
8. You haven’t fully accepted that being alone is better
9. You’re ignoring your gut instincts
10. You’re confusing familiarity with compatibility
    “If you grew up in a chaotic or dysfunctional environment, toxic behavior might feel oddly comfortable to you. It’s what you know, what you’re used to dealing with. So when you meet someone who exhibits these familiar toxic traits, it might feel like you’ve found “your person.” But, compatibility isn’t about finding someone who fits into your dysfunctional comfort zone. It’s about finding someone who aligns with your values, respects your boundaries, and contributes positively to your growth and happiness.”
11. You’re using the “sunk cost fallacy” as a relationship strategy
12. You’re stuck in a people-pleasing loop
13. You’re using relationships as a distraction from your own growth
14. You’re mistaking jealousy and possessiveness for love
15. You’re wearing rose-colored glasses
16. You’re stuck in a toxic pattern
    “Maybe you always go for the “bad boy” or the “drama queen” because that’s what feels familiar. Perhaps you subconsciously believe you don’t deserve better, so you settle for people who treat you poorly. Or maybe you’re recreating dynamics from your childhood, trying to “fix” in your adult relationships what was broken in your early ones.”
17. You’re treating love like it’s a competitive sport
    “In the game of love, you think the one who cares less, wins. So you play it cool, you don’t show too much interest, you keep your options open. After all, you don’t want to be the one who gets hurt, right? But this mindset attracts people who view relationships the same way—as a game to be won, rather than a partnership to be nurtured. It creates an environment of distrust, manipulation, and emotional withholding. Real, healthy love isn’t about who has the upper hand or who can hurt the other person less. It’s about vulnerability, open communication, and mutual support.”

Harper Stanley in Want to Stop Attracting Toxic People? Then You Need to Accept These 15 Harsh Truths

If you’ve seen some points here where you see you can learn and grow, I say, “Bravo!” Remember, we’re all a work in progress!

Here are some supportive posts to get the ball rolling in a healthier direction:

• Brain Rewiring
• Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
• You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that.
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 1: how does it physically work in the brain?
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 2: how does it physically work in our body?
• How to stop being Manipulated!
• The Power of Positive Words!
• Do not become small for people who refuse to grow!
• Don’t be afraid to start all over again. You may like your new story better.
• Love is NOT all you need!
• Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.
• Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
• Is Love Enough to Help Someone Kick a Drug Habit?
• “What kind of love do I allow in my life?”
• People around whom you have to “walk on eggshells” are not your people.
• Be mindful, extremely selective and intentional about people you allow into your life.
• Why we’re so attracted to people who end up abusing us
• What’s the opposite of “Hurt people hurt others”?

I believe in you! You are worthy of being happy and becoming whole!

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
https://tamarakulish.com/

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