“Don’t be afraid to start all over again. You may like your new story better.”
I’m no stranger to starting all over again at an older age. I understand the fear, the nervousness, the anxiety, the finances – or lack of as the case may be.
My second marriage ended when my youngest granddaughter was going through her second battle with cancer, this time it was stage 4 lung tumors. I had gone to stay with my daughter who lived a few states away, to help out with the 3 kids – the twins were in kindergarten at the time. I had been laid off from work the Friday before the weekend, then she found out the news on Monday. By Wednesday I was out with her, planning on staying at least until the little one’s treatments were finished, longer if my daughter needed me.
During that time, my already rocky marriage crashed and burned, when my husband became verbally abusive, shouting at me on the phone while I was in the hospital 3 hours away from where my daughter lived, because the baby was having another emergency visit in between treatments. My husband was trying to emotionally batter me into abandoning my daughter and the kids to return to him, because he felt “lonely”.
Needless to say, I knew that the marriage was finally over. I went back with a moving truck to retrieve my furniture and personal possessions. As I was slowly loading all the furniture on the truck (it was all mine before we had gotten married), he was becoming angrier and angrier, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, so I decided to abandon the rest of the furniture and only take my remaining personal items, as I didn’t wish to risk becoming a statistic to marital violence.
I drove the truck 1,000 miles, back to my daughter’s house, knowing I was starting life from scratch, having had him wipe me out financially.
Fast forward to my present life
A lot happened between that time: the baby is now 8 years old and healthy, and I’m in my own apartment. I had to buy all new furniture, all the items for the kitchen etc, to set myself up again.
This time around I purchased things I adore, some were brand new, and many were thrifted. I have surrounded myself with colors and textures which make me feel happy, comfortable and joyous!
Going through those times were pretty difficult, because each one is hard enough to do separately, but together? I felt like a basket case at times.
What else came out of the hard times?
Even though I felt like I had gone through the proverbial meat grinder emotionally, physically and financially, I knew I needed to heal in order to be able to move forward with my life, so that’s what I focused on.
There were so many lessons I learned during that time that I started writing about them. My first book “How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level” was the first book I wrote, then some workbooks and journals, my Blog, and most recently I’ve finished writing the manuscript “Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It”.
Had I not gone through those very hard times, I wouldn’t have worked so hard on my healing, and I wouldn’t have started writing!
Blessing can come from the darkest of times. Re-inventing ourselves isn’t necessarily all about trying to re-create what we had in the past for that may be gone forever, but forging a new path for ourselves and our families.
If you’re in a transition time between the past and your future, hang in! You can do this! Better times will come!
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