Don’t you dare. Shrink yourself. For someone else’s comfort – Do not become small. For people who refuse to grow!
My mother was fearful of other people’s dreams and of people leaving her if they went after their dreams.
She projected her fears onto me, did her best to limit me to keep herself from needing to face her fears.
When I was a kid she mocked my dreams, called me “Lady Muck” for dreaming things she considered “Pie-in-the-Sky” and tried to “ground” me by telling me of small, mundane things I could aspire to become.
Her words and actions wounded me (she also abused me, so there’s definitely more to the picture) and clipped my wings from going to University.
Yet in spite of her, I still expressed who I was, but it took far more inner effort to give myself permission to do so and to find the mental energy to accomplish what I set out to.
I gave MYSELF permission to become who I chose, to live my life the way I wanted and to set goals which lit up my passions.
Years after having left her home, I had accomplished far more than she had tried to stifle in me. I had done more, learned more, created more and expressed more than she was willing to bless me to do!
I had grown so far beyond the small box she had envisioned for me.
Other people’s inner limits do not need to be ours!
Not everyone has the ability to see what another person can accomplish, and unfortunately they can sometimes be in a position of power or authority over us.
Fortunately, we don’t need to accept their limitations or try to fit into the little box they see for us, in order to gain their approval!
It won’t happen that way, because if they approved of us or respected us they wouldn’t try to fit us into that little box!
Their own fears are limiting their ability to see the potential in others!
Do we need to tell the person limiting us what our plans are?
Only reveal what you’re willing for them to verbally put you down for!
I’ve found that it’s best NOT to tell others what I want to achieve! I just go ahead and DO it!
Once it has been accomplished, I might let them know, but sometimes I only let them know after I’ve become accustomed to my accomplishment and have been able to live with the RESULTS for a while, for that same negative person will also put down the accomplishment if they don’t see the results right away!
I’ve learned that my mental health is far more important than trying to rush telling a negative person of something I’ve done, in order to try to gain their approval!
In the whole process, I’ve discovered that I really didn’t need approval from the very people who I THOUGHT I wanted and needed approval from, once I realized their fears had clipped their own wings and had crippled them from seeing the potential in others. Why seek something from someone they’re not able to give?
Go. Test your wings!
Go. Be yourself! Live your dreams! Do what sets your spirit free and allows your mind to live unencumbered!
There’s so many wonderful stories of people discovering talents and passions in their lives, even well after the age of 50!
Be your wonderful self!
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
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Tamara Kulish 
#response_container_BBPPID{font-family: initial; font-size:initial; color: initial;} Tam,Wanted to call you later. What a powerful post. I remember those awful and hurtful words. I am so sorry those were ever said to you. There are some things that should never be said to another – words are not just words. They can be cruel and cut like a knife. Best Regards,TarasTaras KulishE: taraskulish@gmail.comT: 1.416.625.7482Sent from my BlackBerry – the most secure mobile device From: comment-reply@wordpress.comSent: July 14, 2020 7:25 AMTo: taraskulish@gmail.comReply-to: comment+e1nn110oa4tp6rlfjtz51v27@comment.wordpress.comSubject: [New post] Do not become small for people who refuse to grow! #ssc34403 a:hover{color: red;}#ssc34403 a{text-decoration: none;color: rgb(0, 136, 204);}#ssc34403 a.primaryactionlink:link,#ssc34403 a.primaryactionlink:visited{background-color: rgb(37, 133, 178);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);}#ssc34403 a.primaryactionlink:hover,#ssc34403 a.primaryactionlink:active{background-color: rgb(17, 114, 158) !important;color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important;}
https://tamarakulish.com/ posted: ”
Don’t you dare. Shrink yourself. For someone else’s comfort – Do not become small. For people who refuse to grow!
My mother was fearful of other people’s dreams and of people leaving her if they went after their dreams.
She projected her fears”
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Thanks so much for your support! I appreciate your words! As you know, healing from those things is a long process but well worth the work!
I no longer suffer from the memories but am sad for all she has lost due to her own inner damage.
What happened to us when we were younger isn’t our fault or responsibility but our healing later on is! That’s a truth each of us bears, even her!
Blessings to you!
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