“If you want the Moon do not hide from the night;
If you want a rose do not run from the thorns;
If you want love do not hide from yourself.” – Rumi

The damage to my spirit from the abuse I went through caused me to run from myself, because through the lies I had been told and through the messages I had inferred from those days I had been left with the feeling that I was a terrible person, unworthy of love.

Many of us who have experienced abuse, criticism and long-term negativity suffer from feeling unworthy, unlikable and unlovable; thinking about ourselves positively is a struggle. Being able to say “I like myself” or “I deserve good things” is difficult; it can feel fake to say that about ourselves.

We need to realize that the lies we were told no longer need to define us.

Healing is possible. We’re our best healers, for no one will take as much time as we will to work out the anguish and pain.

Remember this as you look inward: healthy people don’t hurt others; damaged people do. They hurt others in the proportion they themselves feel pain. The pain and suffering they inflicted on you was a projection of their own suffering and not an indication of your own unworthiness.

When I learned this truth I was able able to release my pain I had been nursing like a poison cocktail, for I realized that my abusers were themselves damaged. I was the convenient recipient of their own festering pains.

In order to heal from the festering pains of the past, we acknowledge the shadows, the darkness and the thorns, instead of running from them. The past is over and has no more power over us, so instead of running from those things by stuffing down the emotions with food or alcohol or drugs or other forms of escapism, we can see them through a lens of compassion for ourselves.

Compassion for ourselves may not feel natural when we’ve been accustomed to receiving criticism and abuse.

I have found that giving myself Grace and Permission to make mistakes to be freeing from the beating myself up over every little wrong-doing I felt I was doing.

Teaching ourselves to heal, to like ourselves and give ourselves grace allows us to be freed from the shadows and the thorns of our pasts.

More good stuff:

Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves

By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!

Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!

Brain Rewiring

Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?

Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”

An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!

My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!

Setting “Boundaries with consequences”

A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…

Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?

A new you! Is this possible?

10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness

Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/

My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audio book available!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks,    Anger Journal,    Guided Anxiety Journal    Joy & Mindfulness Journal     My Boundaries Journal   My Inner Thoughts Journal   

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