It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.

Created by @ LRKNOST, Inside Parenting

I’m sure you’ve heard some people justifying why they parent harshly or unjustly; they love to say they need to toughen up their kids to be able to face the world. That just ends up creating more and more damaged people.

My mother loved to tell us to just suck it up, well she worded it differently because she didn’t like slang. She’d tell us we needed to toughen up or to just grow a thicker skin, that the world wasn’t going to take it easy on us. I vehemently disagreed with her approach and vowed to not do that to my kids when I had them, and I stuck to my inner promise I made to myself.

I loved this quote when I saw it, it echoes my thoughts that we raise our kids to be kind and loving people to help make this world a little less cruel and heartless. My daughter has been raising her kids this way too and they’re choosing gentle, kind people for their partners.

I think a big part of healing is realizing that we don’t have to repeat the patterns our parents made; that we can carve a whole new, healthy path for ourselves and our own families. Just because “that’s the way it was always done” in a family, doesn’t mean we need to do it to.

Being loving and supportive while also having healthy boundaries is the best gift we can give to ourselves and our kids. Personally, I’m enjoying seeing my grandkids grow up into really nice people. I’m enjoying spending time with them all; we have fun and there aren’t fights and all kinds of drama. We talk things through, don’t name call, don’t criticize and aren’t petty with each other.

I can avow that this is really the best! It all starts within ourselves though. We don’t get this kind, loving family unless we do our own inner work on ourselves first! Our kids won’t parent us, nor will they make us all better. That’s too much to place on them, not to mention how unbalanced and unhealthy it is. That’s a recipe for creating another generation of damaged people. We need to first become the kind and gentle soul that will raise a child lovingly and not with criticism and mockery.

Funny how it all returns back to us and the need to grow and heal ourselves! The first parent we need to be is to our own inner child, to help our inner self to become whole and happy!

As always, I have some links below to help you on this path.

• Changing ourselves and others
• Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

• Let your past make you better not bitter.
• Love is NOT all you need!
• Loving Ourselves… means we don’t always put ourselves LAST!
• Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
• Never lower your standards just because you are lonely. It is better to be by yourself than to be with the wrong person.
• No matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around
• Nothing is set in stone! “What have I got to lose?”
• Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

• On Comparing Ourselves to others…
• Rebuilding a broken sense of self worth
• Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself
• Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy
• Small signs you’re liked more than you realize
• Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
• The dandelion does not stop growing because it is told it is a weed!
• The most important spiritual growth doesn’t happen when you’re meditating or on a yoga mat.
• This world may never understand you. That is not your fault, that is your gift.

• Types of self-care and how to incorporate them into your life
• We’re all a work in progress
• What does “healing” and “personal development” mean to you?
• “What if it really were up to me? Could I do it?”
• You are allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress, simultaneously.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
https://tamarakulish.com/

My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audiobooks are available for the busy person!

Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:

Removing Inner Blocks ||  Anger Journal || Guided Anxiety Journal  ||  Joy & Mindfulness Journal   ||  My Boundaries Journal  || My Inner Thoughts Journal   

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