by Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

Revenge: is it necessary or not?

Years ago I heard “The best revenge is to go and live well.” I put that into practice,  working hard, improving my life, and working on my healing.

I reached a point where I was able to cast off the old feelings of needing that kind of revenge and realized that I felt much better in my head without it. I realized I had reached a point where I was living my life for myself, where I was following my joy, where I gave myself permission to live expensively and with love.

The old anger I had once felt, fueled by old pain, where I thought,  “I’ll show you! I can be much more than you thought I could.” Those old thoughts gradually slipped away. I wondered where they had gone because I hadn’t actively shoved them aside.

I realized that in developing a trust that the Universe loves me and has my back that I also released my old nemesis to the Universe to handle as it would. I trusted that whatever happened, it would be for their betterment, and even if they never improved, it was no longer MY business.

Whatever happens to the other person is their own business. We don’t even need to try to win them over! If they’re bound and determined to hate on us, nothing we say will change that! Perhaps in time they may see through our actions who we are or who we have become, but even if they NEVER see, their opinions of us are none of our business!

Harsh? Maybe. Unsatisfying? Probably.

What IS our business is living our own lives in the best way we can. As Maya Angelou taught – when we know better we can do better!

Meme by @lawofhealing
“The best revenge is: NONE. Heal yourself, move on and don’t be like those who hurt you. The Universe puts everything in its proper place.”
Every human has a true genuine authentic self.
The trauma is the disconnection from it.
The healing is the reconnection with it.
– Gabor Maté
Don’t try to win over the haters.
You’re not the Jackass Whisperer.
– Scott Stratten, Meme by KindOverMatter.com

Here are some more helpful thoughts:

Hope your weekend is wonderful!

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
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57 thoughts on “Revenge: is it necessary or not?”

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  21. This, in a way, reminds me of a story a woman shared in a speech at a conference. It was about her husband who had been abused as a child. He, probably in this 60s, still had nightmares of the abuse. Then he found it in himself to forgive his abuser. After that, the nightmares and triggers ceased completely.

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    1. That’s quite amazing! Too often we think that forgiveness will give our abuser permission to continue to hurt us, but it’s really about giving ourselves permission to release the past and to be able to move forward and have peace.

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  22. Your title caught me off guard…but, of course, everything you’ve shared is insightful and compassionate. There is true freedom in only listening to your own conscience/God’s opinion. Thanks for sharing, Tamara! ❤️

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    1. Thanks so much! I’ve been trying to create eye catching headlines, but don’t seem to have the knack. I’m delighted to have created one! Yes, this freedom is quite wonderful isn’t it?!

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    1. Thanks Mark! Indeed, we hold in the very things that will help our mental and physical health to release. Incredible how powerful healing is!

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      1. It is a beautiful and profound thing it teaches us. We go in all things from the unknown to the known to understand it all in its wisdom. And I’m pretty sure it won’t be the engineering or the mechanics or even a building or secretary profession we will remember, but the beauty in what it felt to get there, along with all those many, many other experiences. It is a wobbly old trip, but it will leave us in a perfection that no words will ever really describe. But the feeling from all that healing in experiencing them all will have created something wonderful. Great post kind lady, something to really contemplate in this incredible classroom called life 🤗❤️🙏

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        1. Thanks Mark! We’re all here to learn aren’t we?!

          We apparently each chose our troubles before coming into this life, for those would be the things that would help our souls develop in ways we otherwise couldn’t.

          We’re told to look into our shadows to see our teachers, and while it can be terrifying, it is where we gain our biggest releases and insights.

          I heard this before I had worked on my own healing and it overwhelmed me, but having come out the other side, I can now see the truth in in.

          For anyone else reading this, know that we do this best by following baby steps. Baby steps are all we can manage sometimes, and we might be hard on ourselves for not moving forward in leaps and bounds, but truthfully, it’s all the baby steps that end up being the most effective!

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          1. Indeed it is Tamara, we have 80 odd years to adventure down here and those baby steps allow us to understand it a little at a time. And that ‘time’ is why we are here, so we can see it in a nice gentle piece by piece…even though some days seem a little quick for us. But from a spiritual way it is perfection in how we eventually touch it all. Well said Tamara, and thank you 🤗❤️🙏

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            1. I love how you put this! We have many years if we’re lucky, to work on ourselves and our growth. Indeed, baby steps put to good use!

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  25. Thank you for this essential reminder, Tamara.

    There is an old saying worth remembering. “If you want revenge, dig two graves.” The first is for the person who injured you. The second exists for you, because your hatred has consumed your life.

    All good wishes to your kind heart, Tamara.

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    1. Yes, the old adage of needing to dig 2 graves is very true. I’ve seen people destroy themselves over anger and their need for revenge turned inward to bitterness. If one person reading these words sees themselves, I hope they will work on their inner healing!

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  26. I so agree with you. I think revenge just forces us to hold on to all that negative stuff while not really affecting the person we have an issue with. But when we let go and move on, we attract more positive things into our life.

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    1. I love how you put this! Moving on past the anger and the pain is challenging but very rewarding, as you so eloquently put it!

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  27. So spot on, Tamara! The need to prove to our haters that they’re wrong about us only keeps us tied to them. In letting go, I’ve found that the haters no longer have a place in my thoughts. The joy of deep healing comes in unexpected ways.

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    1. Yes, needing to prove ourselves to those who have wronged us very definitely keeps us tied to them, and stops us from moving forward. Incredible how deep healing works, isn’t it?

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    1. Thanks Wynne! I was very surprised to find it had just faded away, and after reflecting on it I realized my mental health was for the better because of it.

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  29. Beautiful, Tamara! There is true power in letting go and, once we experience it, having desired revenge at all seems a bit silly. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights with us. 🥰

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    1. That’s what I discovered along the way. It surprised me to find out that I had moved on past it. I definitely feel better mental health-wise. I definitely recommend it to others!

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