Doesn’t it seem incredible that anyone would have a problem with us becoming a better version of ourselves?

People can have strange reactions to the changes they perceive in us, sometimes they come across strongly as anger or sarcasm, or more quietly as passive aggressive actions. No matter how they come across, they want us to revert to our former selves.

Why? Why would someone who says they care about us wish us to revert?

Change is scary, and if they’re not changing too or wishing to change, that can bring up fears within them which come out in the negative ways they’re expressing.

If we wish to keep that relationship as we move forward, reassuring the other person that with all the changes we’re making we’ll still want to hang out may be just the thing the other person needs to hear. People are afraid of being left behind.

On the other hand, the changes happening inside of ourselves may give us the strength to look deeply at each relationship to see if the negative behavior is something we wish to keep including in our lives!

I found that as I healed I became less and less willing to tolerate people who chose to put me down or to say unkind things, no matter what their reason was. I chose to distance myself from them, but first I let them know that as long as they chose to treat me unkindly or disrespectfully I wouldn’t be able to continue the relationship.

Did that change them or inspire them to change? Actually, no! That wasn’t my purpose, and I don’t believe any of us should live for that! I simply wished to set some boundaries with them, where previously they had been ignored.

So what happened when I stopped participating in the relationships which were tearing me down? I felt better! I wasn’t continually playing a game of “catch up” to try to prove to people I wasn’t what they were claiming. I learned to stand in my own truth.

I realized that if I was treating people respectfully, kindly and with gentleness, the people who were trying to get me to go backwards were the people I truly didn’t need in my life.

Making changes within ourselves, even if they’re all for the best, will alienate some people. Not everyone will like the new person we become, especially when we’re no longer a doormat.

When we reach a point of not being disturbed by the negative people not liking us or objecting to our new boundaries, we can know we’ve made good progress!

Here’s some other thoughts:

• Love is NOT all you need!
• The dandelion does not stop growing because it is told it is a weed!
• Be the flawed, QUIRKY, unique, beautiful and MAGICAL person that you are!
• “What if it really were up to me? Could I do it?”
• We’re all a work in progress
• Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
• Time to Change the Negative Tapes!
• Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
• Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
• A new you! Is this possible?
• On Comparing Ourselves to others…
• Fall in love with taking care of yourself
• Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy
• Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself
• God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know… it’s me.
• By being yourself you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before!
• If you focus too hard on the problem, the solution can often evade you.
• Be the one who lights the darkness for others… with a good deed or kind word!
• Types of self-care and how to incorporate them into your life
• Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn’t know the things you now know.
• Small signs you’re liked more than you realize
• Here’s a life lesson in being effortlessly comfortable and “cool”.
• Changing how we see ourselves; moving from dislike when we yearn to be able to go forward into something more positive

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

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