The concept of self care seems to go all over the page from shopping trips and manicures, to going on an Ayahuasca retreat, to meditating for an hour. It can seem confusing, so let’s look at the basics.

Self care is about doing even small things to help our mental and physical health. Don’t have the time or energy to completely overhaul what you and your family eat? Don’t have the time or money to go on a spa retreat? Don’t have the time or energy to plan every moment so they’re all productive?

We don’t need to do expensive things, nor do we need to think solely about things that tat up huge chunks of our day or week.

Small things matter. Baby steps matter. It’s easier to fit a few small things into our day than it is something longer, and the smaller things can end up having more of an impact on our overall well being!

Dr. Phoebe Chi shares in “Tiny Acts of Care That Carry You Through Hard Days” some great small things we can do for yourselves that can help our busy minds and bodies.

“Some days feel impossibly heavy. Maybe your body is tired, or your thoughts are tangled, or you simply feel far from yourself. On days like these, even the smallest tasks can feel like climbing uphill. And the idea of “self-care” might feel distant—something reserved for a more capable version of you.

But health doesn’t always require bold action. Sometimes, it begins with a whisper. A breath. A small choice that says: I still matter.

Here are simple, science-informed habits that can gently support your body and mind—especially when you feel like you have nothing left to give. They’re not meant to change everything overnight. They’re meant to hold you, quietly, through the hours when you need it most.”

Dr. Phoebe Chi shares in “Tiny Acts of Care That Carry You Through Hard Days“

Here are the things she shares, and I encourage you to read what she says about each one, as I’ve added my own thoughts to each point.

1. Make Just the Top Half of Your Bed
   “On difficult days, even basic tasks can feel insurmountable. But completing one small, manageable action—like smoothing your blanket and fluffing your pillow—can create a surprising sense of accomplishment and control.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   I remember seeing a video a few years ago about making one’s bed every morning, because it was a small thing that helped to start the day of right, and as Adm. McRaven explains at a University of Texas, Austin commencement speech, if we have a bad day, we con come home to a nicely made bed.
   
   However, I wasn’t in the frame of mind to make my bed military style every day. In fact, I never do. I have a simple comforter that I straighten out, and I turn my pillows over each morning when I do the bed.
   
   This simple act takes almost no time at all to do, and yes, I love coming home to a bed that looks made, it helps me feel more ordered in my life.
   https://youtu.be/KgzLzbd-zT4?si=Z9duf4PYwEkzlBJp Embedded video is below
   
2. Drink One Glass of Water…Slowly
   “Instead of pressuring yourself to meet a water goal, start with one full glass. Drink it slowly and consciously. Let it become a ritual: a grounding moment that reaffirms your connection to your physical body. The act of drinking water isn’t just biological—it’s symbolic. It says, You are still worth tending to.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   My dentist has been encouraging me to take a sip of water after I drink my tea to help reduce the tannins left in my mouth that stain teeth, and I have to admit I haven’t been doing that, but I’m going to take a pause right now to fill my refillable bottle with water and try to do exactly that, today. I’ll start with today. Tomorrow I’ll make the same effort, at least I’m telling myself that right now. (I did get the water, It’s sitting on my desk, beside me.)
   
   I like starting new habits slowly and mindfully. If I don’t remember then I’ll do my best to get back on track as soon as I can, and not beat myself up for forgetting.
   
3. Step into Natural Light for Five Minutes
   “This isn’t about taking a walk or accomplishing a task. It’s about letting your body sense that it is still part of the world. If you can, open a window or stand outside. Let the light touch your skin or your face. Even on cloudy days, your eyes and brain register light intensity. And that light helps set in motion a cascade of physiological processes that can support your energy and your emotional balance. It’s subtle. But it works.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   Oof, the heat in the summer makes it difficult to be outside doesn’t it? I do like the feeling of the morning sun even on days that are shaping up to be brutally hot and humid. Even taking a little pause before rushing into the car, or a little pause when we get out of the car helps us to feel more connected to our natural surroundings. This is a little gift we can give ourselves.
   
4. Rest Without a Screen
   “When you’re overwhelmed, your instinct may be to scroll for distraction—but sensory input from screens can actually increase mental fatigue and overstimulate the brain’s reward centers, keeping you in a heightened, agitated state.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   Hehehe, ditch the phone you say? Yes, it’s really helpful! I did a little experiment, and tested on myself how I felt when I doom scrolled in bed before trying to go to sleep, vs. using my mini Kindle set to dark mode and white letters to read a little before sleeping, and the Kindle won hands down. I fall asleep much faster when I read a bit and it’s mentally easier to turn it off when I start to get sleepy instead of getting so wrapped up in the next juicy bit that might come up in my Facebook feed. I’m also not feeling overwhelmed with the state of the world and with our leaders acting badly.
   
5. Speak One Kind Sentence to Yourself
   
   “Self-criticism activates stress pathways in the brain, increasing cortisol and triggering feelings of shame and helplessness. In contrast, even simple forms of self-compassion have been shown to reduce anxiety, support emotional regulation, and strengthen resilience over time. The goal isn’t to convince yourself everything is fine. It’s to offer yourself one small, kind truth.
   You might say, “I’m having a hard time, and I’m still doing my best.” Or, “This isn’t my fault, and I’m allowed to rest.”
   When you speak to yourself with gentleness, you begin to create new neural patterns—ones that replace self-attack with safety. Over time, your inner dialogue becomes a place of refuge, not hostility.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   For those of you who have been following me, you know that this is one of my favorite pieces of advice. It was one of the tools I used on myself when I decided I was tired of feeling depressed and anxious all the time. I had realized with a jolt that my inner self-talk was harsh and was an extension of how my abusive mother used to speak to me. Even after having stopped contact with her, I continued to speak to myself harshly, for that was what I had internalized as the truth of who I was.
   
   Teaching ourselves to speak kindly to ourselves involves a) practicing suspending judgment of ourselves and b) finding kind and believable things to say to ourselves.
   
   Here’s a few more posts to help you with this important step in healing and growth:
   The Power of Positive Words!
   Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
   As you think so shall you be!
   Even after a setback or negative experience, we can create a “reset” button in our minds!
   Change the tapes!
   Baby steps serve a purpose to allow us to keep moving forward!
   Baby steps start the whole change happening!
   Teach ourselves to feel positive in order to see more positive things in our lives!!
   You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
   Change how you see and see how you change.
   
   Here’s a whole page of positive thoughts Positive thoughts inspired by Memes.
   
6. Write Down Three Moments That Didn’t Hurt
   “This isn’t about forced gratitude. It’s about orientation—reminding your brain that, even in pain, not all is pain. When you write down three neutral or comforting observations from your day, you gently shift your attention from threat to presence. This re-balances the brain’s focus, helping reduce rumination and activating more integrative, soothing networks.
   Examples might include:
   • The warmth of the mug in your hands
   • The sound of a bird outside
   • The steadiness of your own breath
   You’re not minimizing what’s difficult. You’re creating a wider frame—one where difficulty doesn’t get to define the entire picture.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   I did this when I was in the thick of my still depressed state. I had heard about gratitude, and it felt hollow to my ears when so much in my life was so extremely difficult. I had to start small, to learn to see the positives, to allow myself to feel good when I did happen to feel good, and not try to shut it out.
   
   When we’re in pain mentally or physically, it’s fairly normal for us to shut out feeling good; we’re afraid to feel good because we fear we’ll be made to suffer more as punishment for enjoying something. There’s a fear that there’s a price to be paid for allowing ourselves to feel good.
   
   Giving ourselves permission to feel good can be scary, especially if we’ve come out of a religious background that taught us every difficult or bad thing that is happening to us is a punishment from God for our sins.
   
   I definitely thought that about myself. I had come out of a church that saw my undiagnosed and my daughter’s undiagnosed health issues as a punishment from God. In those days doctors weren’t testing for celiac disease (my daughter has it) or correlating severe allergies with migraines (one of my issues), so hands were thrown up in the air and we were blamed as being the cause, that it must be a spiritual cause. Unfortunately, this way of thinking is all too prevalent in many circles, so the spiritual blame is still being put on people, who end up very depressed. I observed this many times over in scores of people over the years, and that negative way of treating people has contributed to a lot of mental health issues.
   
   When I learned that God and the universe are loving, and they seek to have our backs, it helped to change my whole outlook on feeling okay about feeling good and releasing the fears of being punished for it.
   
   Shifting our viewpoint on the topic of feeling good about the good things is important. It means we are no longer living in a place of fear, that we have given ourselves permission to move on from that place of thinking.
   
7. Let One Thing Be Unchecked
   “When life feels chaotic or painful, it’s easy to internalize the pressure to keep up. But chronic overextension—especially in the presence of stress—amplifies fatigue, disrupts hormonal balance, and can make emotional recovery harder. Give yourself permission to not do one thing. Let the laundry stay unfolded. Let the inbox wait. Let dinner be simple. This one decision can prevent emotional depletion and model a deeper truth: your worth is not conditional on your productivity.” – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   I still have chronic Shingles, even though they’re mostly in remission now. If I’ve had a difficult week, or didn’t get enough sleep, or I was fighting off a cold, the old symptoms can start to re-emerge. On those days I don’t push myself. I’ll have instant oatmeal for supper, I’ll go to bed earlier.
   
   Sometimes we just need to be good to ourselves and do less!
   
8. Breathe in for Four, Out for Six
   “Your breath is one of the fastest ways to influence your nervous system. When you intentionally lengthen your exhale, you stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps regulate heart rate, reduce inflammation, and signal to your body that it’s safe.
   Even two or three rounds of this breath pattern—in for four counts, out for six—can ease tension in the chest and shoulders, improve oxygen flow, and restore a sense of internal steadiness. It’s an anchor you can return to, anywhere, at any time, without needing anything other than yourself.
   You don’t have to do it perfectly. Just begin. – Dr. Phoebe Chi
   
   I do this. It is really so helpful, even, or especially in the middle of a work day! When we’re busy or when we’re stressed, we tend to revert to shallow breathing, which actually ends up amplifying our physical stress load.

“Healing isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes it’s about doing smaller—with more care, more awareness, and more kindness. These tiny acts won’t solve everything. But they create space. They invite your body out of defense mode. They tell your mind: You’re safe enough to soften now.
And sometimes, that’s where true healing begins.”

– Dr. Phoebe Chi

An additional tip: Stretching

Stretching, especially mid-day is so helpful. It helps the body to release the tensions that like to build up in the neck and shoulder area. I like to do stretching before climbing into bed at night too. It’s become part of my night-time routine.

Small steps and small acts of self care matter!

When we start to incorporate small things into our days, we can send the signals to our brain that it no longer needs to operate in the Amygdala area only, and we can slowly move to living in our pre-frontal cortex, which allows us to have rational thought instead of reactive, emotional ones.

Brain Rewiring, Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.

Small things make a difference!

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As I said above, the advice in the video below can be modified! In fact I encourage you to!

Remember: I think you’re awesome and I believe you’re on the right path!

• Habit Power: We are what we repeat
• You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that.
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 1: how does it physically work in the brain?
• Changing our thoughts and habits Part 2: how does it physically work in our body?

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
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