When you just don’t know what to do but really want to help:

When you just don’t know what to do but really want to help:

When someone you know is going through a rough time, doing something practical for them not only is super helpful but tells them you really understand and are there for them!

Simply offering a suggestion to call is actually a way to get out of actually doing anything helpful and the other person receiving the words knows this from experience how well-meaning people don’t follow through.

They know if you’re too busy to help now, you’ll be too busy if they should ever pick up the phone and take a risk of calling you later!!

On top of what they’re going through they don’t want to feel the sting of rejection. They let you walk away with your illusions intact, knowing they’ll never call someone who opted to give the illusion of being helpful but who can’t see what’s before them!

As the saying goes: Actions are louder than words!

There’s so many little ways to lend a hand which are far more uplifting than saying “Call me if you need anything!”

Asking “how can I help you“ is better because it shows real intent to help.

You’d be surprised how even seemingly small actions can go deep into a person’s spirit and be uplifting!

If there’s genuinely a bigger need, ask if you can get others involved with the necessary solution, and involve the person in the planning so they feel like a participant! They may not have the energy or the ability to physically help but still need to feel included!

Holiday times are typically times when needs can be even greater!

Please share some of your ideas and experiences so we can all get our hearts connected with what we can do to help!


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Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!

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6 thoughts on “When you just don’t know what to do but really want to help:

  1. This is a very relevant topic! These suggestions are seemingly simple but easier said than done if we are not very conscious about our offering help. I am guilty of the invitation to call when needed when young and am also on the receiving end of the same – those calls never happen, you are right.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too! I thought I was being very gracious when I offered for people to call me, until I got those offers, twist was I did call and the person was so surprised and shocked I had actually called. She didn’t know what to say and acted super awkward. I got off the phone quickly and realized it was only a gesture. Then I understood why I got the looks I did when I had given what I thought was a genuine offer to call. Obviously the people I had made the offer to had either experienced what I had, or had seen it happen with someone else.

      I felt disillusioned with this realization but it helped me to learn not to try to take the easy way out with nice words and to seek out the real needs of someone by opening my eyes and ears to the clues.

      The looks on people’s faces is repayment and makes it so worthwhile!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. seek out the real needs of someone by opening my eyes and ears to the clues – this is so perfect what you say. I realized that it is a big learning curve to do this, it feels like a growth muscle to be exercised and developed. Indeed the gratitude is much shared by both parties when we actually do this.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. So very true! Thank you for sharing your latest article with me (Dec 4, 2019) I feel the connection with what you’re saying about innocence and our inner motivation! I love how my spirit feels when I act from a place of innocence! This brings me joy and keeps me firmly planted on the side of positivity and happiness!!

          Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

          Liked by 1 person

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