Starting over is terrifying for anyone who hasn’t done it, and even if you have, it is different each time, but the good thing is, now you know you can do it even if it does take a lot of work physically and emotionally.

Starting over doesn’t necessarily mean leaving a long-term partner, or losing a spouse to death, it can also entail moving out of a city or area one isn’t happy in, going back to school, starting a business, or other major life situations.

Sometimes we get stuck in the daily duties of life that we don’t have time to think about making changes in our lives, yet change is one of the most constant things in this world. Apart from life forcing a change on us, we can be the very barrier to changing our lives for the better. Here are some reasons why, from Catherine Winter in 16 Mistakes You Need To Stop Making If Your Life Is Off Track.

Have you hit rock bottom yet?

Many of us will experience situations in which we seem to hit rock bottom. We often “wake up” from a trance-like state and find ourselves surrounded by the broken remnants of our lives, wondering how we got there and how we’re going to get out.

Catherine Winter in 16 Mistakes You Need To Stop Making If Your Life Is Off Track

1. Avoiding change because it’s uncomfortable.
2. Letting your problems get complicated and out of control rather than simplifying them.
3. Believing that you have no control over your situation.
4. Trying to do too many things.
5. Wasting energy on things you can’t control (like the past).
6. Ignoring what past mistakes can teach you.
7. Keeping the wrong people in your life (for the wrong reasons).
8. Avoiding risk and challenge for fear of making a mistake.
9. Setting unrealistic, unachievable goals for yourself.
10. Letting disorganization be your downfall.
11. Giving up too easily.
12. Being inflexible when things don’t go to plan.
13. Stretching yourself too thin and neglecting balance.
14. Not celebrating the little wins and small progress.
15. Focusing on perfection rather than “good enough”.
16. Not reaching out for support when you need it.

Making important decisions to change our lives can feel overwhelming, and many people put it off for “a better, more opportune time” or will say they’re going to do it after the kids grow up, often staying in untenable situations “for the sake of the kids”, but in reality we see how difficult it will be, and making those changes can seem easier and less complicated to do once the kiddos have grown up.

Any reason why can be real, so I’m not judging your situation. If the reason changes over time and morphs into something else, it’s possible then that we ourselves are finding reasons not to go ahead with the changes we need to make. That’s worth exploring. Are we creating our own barriers, or did we possibly grow out of wanting to do XYZ?

Whether change is something you deeply desire or if it has been forced upon you by life or someone else, we still need to go through the steps to be able to move forward or we end up being stuck in our despair and anguish.

Getting stuck in our pain and anger will have detrimental effects on our physical and mental health, with many people developing addictions as a way to numb out to try to get through life. If that doesn’t sound like the life you wish for yourself, today is a good time to start the inner process to develop a new chapter in life.

I wish I had a blueprint of what I needed to do when I had to start over, so I’m going to help you out with a handy list to refer to. Once we have been put in a situation to make a change, there’s no need to rush in and try to do it all at once and expect quick results. In fact, going slowly is a good idea, for it allows our minds and spirits to process what has happened.

It’s going to take time and practice to feel comfortable with the new, even if it is something you’re eagerly anticipating. Sometimes we need to grieve first, to process our anger, pain, and grief before we can move forward. We need to honor what our minds and hearts need!

Go ahead and give the following list a read, even if you don’t feel ready yet. (You can bookmark this page and return to it when you’re ready.)

McKayla Afolayan’s If you want to start a new chapter in your life, do these 17 things, has some great ideas.

But before you do anything else… Stop. Breathe. Feel.

Are you overwhelmed? Afraid? Excited? Panicky?

All the above?

Are your emotions all over the place?

Know that your feelings are valid. And know that they are typical for a person who is about to go through a major life change.

McKayla Afolayan’s If you want to start a new chapter in your life, do these 17 things

1. Let go of the old.
2. Reflect on who you want to be.
3. Decide what you want to do.
4. Try new things.
5. Go back to school.
6. Take up a hobby.
7. Adopt a “can do” attitude.
8. Make a vision board.
9. Form new habits.
10. Purge yourself of toxic people.
11. Be open to learning.
12. Embrace the fear.
13. Embrace change.
14. Put a plan in place.
15. Enjoy the process.
16. Be patient.
17. Take time for self-care.

Whether life has thrown you a terrible curve ball or whether you have been waiting eagerly for YOUR moment, remember that YOU get to choose how your new chapter will look.

There are many steps to go through and with each step there can be waves of strong emotions. Take the time you need to process your emotions. You may be dealing with thoughts of inferiority or unworthiness to take the steps that will lead you to where you need to get to. Try suspending judgement of yourself, and instead speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend.

I’m of the thought process that we live our best lives when we get to do the things that bring us joy and make our hearts happy. Now is the time to reflect on what you would love to do and to become.

If you’re unsure of what will make you happy, but you know you still need to embrace the changes, start with doing what needs to be done. You may still be in shock or grief, so trying to figure out what will make you happy may not be reachable at the moment. Sometimes the best things to do are just to focus on what needs to be done. Make a list, and tackle the ones you feel the most strongly about.

I had to start over almost completely from scratch a few years ago, so I understand how difficult it can be. My first priority was to find a job and save to be able to get an apartment. I had to buy all new furniture and housewares, some I bought new on credit, and other things I had scoured the Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul stores. I chose to see it as an opportunity to create my new chapter of life with my own vision and I’m very pleased and satisfied with the results. I’m 62 now and while I wish I didn’t have to experience what I had, I realize that the lessons I have learned are the reason for it all, no doubt.

It is possible to rise from the ashes. It is possible to rebuild. It is possible to make a bold choice even in later years and develop a wonderful life. I’m rooting for you if this is where you find yourself!

Remember: you’re stronger than you realize and you are worthy of being happy and at peace!

PS: Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help! Having support is necessary, and if you need some counseling try to find one. A life coach can be of immense help, to point out possible pitfalls, and to offer guidance based on your particular situation.

Of course, you know I’m going to give you some additional reading:

• Where do you start when you don’t know where to start?
• Generational curses: are they breakable?
• Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it!
• Revenge: is it necessary or not?
• Mindfulness Resources
• Give yourself the love that you deserve and you will receive the love that you deserve
• Pushing forward after being unfairly or wrongly judged
• Changing how we speak to ourselves
• Do you like or loathe the person you see in the mirror? How does one go about changing the loathing into liking?
• As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
• By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
• Loving Ourselves… means we don’t always put ourselves LAST!
• Never lower your standards just because you are lonely. It is better to be by yourself than to be with the wrong person.
• Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.
• How people treat you is their karma… How you react is yours…
• It is always an inside work. It starts within us
• No matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for liking, sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts Main page divided up into 3 sub-pages: Mental Health and Rewiring the Brain || Healing and Developing Ourselves || Positive thoughts and Affirmations to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
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