by Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

It’s okay to change your mind, even after making a declaration in front of family or peers!

Are we locked into a decision we may have made publicly or in front of family and friends, or is there some wiggle room to change our minds?

Is it okay to change our minds after the above has happened, or does it make us look weak or wishy-washy?

My personal belief is we get to change our minds if we want to, and we don’t even need to come up with a reason that makes sense to others!

All we need to say is “It isn’t working for me!” Pretty cool, huh?

Of course, if you are a very rigid, make-up-your-mind-and never-change kind of person, you’re shaking your head, absolutely AGHAST!! “No,” your brain screams, “that’s not how it is supposed to go! That’s just being weak and wishy-washy!”

Throw all those old ideas out I say!

Those were the ways people were taught to think for decades and decades, that it resulted in too many people living lives of quiet despair, feeling stuck and trapped by choices the once made, and not daring to risk the judgmental sneers of self-righteous people who find slim satisfaction in putting others down, while they themselves suffer in silence!

Ah, the old rigid norms of society, and how a well-bred person was supposed to behave!

quote by The Good Buddha

I thought of this recently having gone through a major experience with my daughter, who is getting married in a few months, so picking a wedding dress was a big activity we went through.

This will be her second wedding and she wants to create her dream wedding since her first one was a small rushed affair, where she wore her prom dress, and she had no say in the decorations or anything.

As the mother of the bride, going to a wedding shop was a new experience for me too, as my wedding was planned by my mother-in-law, and my dress was a remake of my step-mother’s dress by a seamstress.

We went to the bridal store, 3 hours away from her home, accompanied by her bridesmaids, future mother-in-law and myself, as well as her 2 daughters. There was a budget, dresses that fit the budget were tried on and she found a gorgeous dress. It didn’t fit with her original ideas or 100% with her theme which is “Princess Bride” but she seemed very happy and we all took photos with her holding the sign “I found my dress!” There was a gorgeous matching veil that we also bought.

quote by Project Forgive

Everyone was very happy to have had this wonderful experience, after everyone had made efforts to drive the 3 hours to be there.

The dress needed to be ordered, since it wasn’t in stock in her size in the store, but she let with the veil to show her fiancé.

After the dress came into the store, I picked it up and took it to my apartment, because I live in the city. She came up the following weekend so we could go to the store to have it altered slightly and have the back “bustled” in the style she wanted, which would allow for easier movement on the dance floor after the ceremony.

That’s when she confessed to me that she would really like to try on more dresses to see if there was something that fit her vision of the style she originally had in mind. She was very fearful that I’d say “No” to her, and say she had made a decision in from of a large part of the wedding party, and that she should just make the best of it.

I surprised her I guess, when I didn’t do the socially correct thing, but said, “Sure, let’s have some fun. Don’t worry if it costs extra, I’ll pick up the cost for you.”

This time she was open to me saying that, and not so determined to stick to her budget based on what she had saved. We found THE perfect dress, yes it cost extra, but I was happy to pay since it was what she wanted.

She was over the moon with happiness, and I have a lesson to share with all of you!

Yes, it is perfectly okay to change your mind, even after making a major declaration in front of people!

It’s perfectly fine to say, “I changed my mind, this is what I want instead!”

Think about this: what if the urges to go with something different is the universe or your Angels nudging you in a different direction?

Doesn’t this help with being able to suspend those negative thoughts and turn towards the new?

Meme by Quotes and Sayings
Click to see Photo and quote by Tamara Kulish on Fine Art America

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara

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27 thoughts on “It’s okay to change your mind, even after making a declaration in front of family or peers!”

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  5. Totally agree, Tamara! I’m so happy to see you were able to show your daughter that it is okay to change her mind. A lot of times women, in particular, seem to be pigeon-holed into a decision they know wasn’t right when they made it. This can be deleterious. Again, thank you for sharing this lesson. It is important.

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    1. So very true Kathy! I think it is much healthier to admit to a mistake than to stubbornly stick to it for fear of losing face!

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  6. People are often too scared to change their mind or at least admit to having a change of mind. But the truth is, we change all the time so obviously we’ll change our mind about things. And that’s totally okay. That’s how we grow and do better.

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    1. That’s how I think too, but unfortunately I’ve seen people who felt trapped by their decision, and were unwilling to admit to others they had changed their minds. That’s sad, really.

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        1. Right? I think you’ve nailed it, we’re the ones who suffer the most when our pride gets in the way when we worry about what others will think of us. In reality, people think far less of us than we think they do! LOL!

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  7. Some good points Tamara. This reminds me of my oldest niece years ago. She had plans to marry a young man who she knew for a while and all the plans were made. She had reservations about it all because of a secret that she was afraid to share with all of us. She went through the wedding and her and it was beautiful. What we later found out after a short time was that she didn’t love this man the way everyone had thought. They parted ways and we found out that she is gay. My point to this is, don’t be afraid of who you are or what you want in life. Do what makes you happy because no one else really knows what you want. I am so proud of her and who she is. I just wish that she wasn’t so afraid back then to come forward and say what she wanted. Now, she’s married to a great lady and they are so happy together.

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    1. I think this is a very good amplification to the post, as speaking up can help everyone. Sometimes we learn our lessons the hard way don’t we? I’m happy your neice was able to speak her truth and finally find happiness instead of being locked into a marriage she wasn’t invested in. It took courage for her to speak up!

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        1. In some families, that fear is correct, for some families are not accepting, while in other families there is an openness and acceptance of who people are; and of course, many are a mix of the first 2. A person doesn’t often know where things will end up when they share their truth, and that’s where the fear comes in.

          Happily for your niece she has an Auntie who loves and cherishes her the way she is! Bravo!

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    1. I love those serendipitous moments! I love how God, the universe, our Angels work! All for our greater good!

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