Most of the time I feel very comfortable in my own skin, but that has taken me many years of strong inner work to achieve.
When we come from a background of abuse, lack of emotional support and criticism as I have and many of you have, it’s natural to internalize the negative messages and to become anxious, even depressed. However, just because that can be a natural outcome of such a past, doesn’t mean we need to stay in that state.
We can move beyond that place. It takes time and work.
It would be nice if we could just read one book, absorb its contents, and voila, we’d be healed and able to live healthy lives. The reality is, it takes more time and work than that.
We read a book, and if we’re lucky we take away one or two lessons which we need to put into practice, or it just doesn’t stick.
Keep repeating the process many times and we gradually grow and heal. Our self-confidence improves. Our perception of ourselves changes from negative and dark, to loving and peaceful. We learn self-acceptance where we only knew self-recrimination before.
We know we’re healed when we truly know we’re enough, when we feel neither superior or inferior to anyone and we no longer feel a need for approval!
I stated above that most of the time I feel this way, and when I don’t, I go back into my self-teaching, my positive self-talk and positive affirmations. I try to take a look inwards to see what’s triggering me not to feel those positive things.
This is a time where we spend a lot of time with ourselves, our thoughts, so this is also a good time to practice being kind to ourselves, to practice self-acceptance and give ourselves grace. The more we practice these things with ourselves, the better our relationships with others becomes as we’re not subconsciously projecting our fears, anxieties or even inner anger towards them.
Sounds strange doesn’t it? That our relationships with others can improve when we improve our relationship with ourselves?
I thought so too, until I started putting that into practice!
Be gentle with yourself, so that you may be gentle with others!
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
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Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
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