This post has been inspired by Todd Fulginiti on Pointless Overthinking with his post Helping Others: Can You Dish It Out But Not Take It?
He told the story of how his check engine light for his up-in-mileage Prius came on, and the car they had pulled up beside belonged to a young man who was an expert in car repair and helped resolve their issue.
He said he and his wife gratefully accepted help and were astonished that the young man would accept no payment. He remembered his Aunties had difficulty accepting help when it was freely given, insisting on forcing payment, and turning what was a wonderfully generous offer into something which could make the giver feel cheap.
I love how miraculous synchronous events happen! Saying yes is practice to accepting the gifts the universe has for us! If we keep saying no, then complain that God isn’t helping or blessing us, we may pray prayers of despair, when we could be praying prayers of thanks! Sometimes we are blessed through others, and not with ever increasing paychecks to be independent. Maybe we need to learn to be interdependent!Tamara’s comment on Todd‘s post
So the big question today:
Are we so married to our independence that we cannot accept genuine offers? Are we afraid that we will owe the other person something? Are we afraid of looking greedy or like we can’t afford to pay?
Sometimes we need to practice our interdependence with each other! This is neighborliness and caring put into action!
As good as it feels to be a giver, sometimes it is good for our spirit to receive, for we can see how the universe takes care of us in so many small ways!
I used to be a co-dependent martyr who derived her self-worth from running myself into the ground doing for others, yet I struggled to accept help from others unless it really was something I couldn’t do by myself. That’s not a very balanced way to live, is it?
No matter how much I did for others, if I did ask for help I was scolded and judged, so I learned not to ask. Little did I understand at the time that the people I was with were very toxic to me, and most people aren’t like that!
Once I “found my tribe” I learned how to ask for help and how to accept it gracefully without feeling guilty because my people don’t play those negative mind games.
It’s important that we know it’s also okay to ask for help!
I hope you’ll poke around my Archived Posts to find a wonderful trove of supportive and encouraging posts!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
- Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
- By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
- Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. Train yourself to flip the script!
- Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
- An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
- My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
- A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
- Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
- A new you! Is this possible?
- Start today, start tomorrow, just start!
- There is no enlightenment outside of daily life – Thich Nhat Hanh
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