Recently I was laughingly telling my hairdresser that for most of my life I had been in denial about sharing my birthday with a rodent, specifically the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil! Her son is born the day after me, and I said “Wow, he dodged a bullet on that one!”
She wanted to know more, how could being born on Groundhog day negatively affect anyone?
I remember my embarrassment starting in Grade 1: the teacher would happily tell us “It’s Groundhog Day!” and then in the next announcement read off the people having birthdays that day. Mine was always the only birthday that day.
As a very shy kid, I struggled with self-worth and any negative attention made me feel very vulnerable. When the teacher made the announcement, the kids made the connection immediately and started to laugh, “Ha-ha, she’s born on Groundhog day! What a loser!
It was awful! I turned beet red and tried to slide down lower in my seat, trying to hide.
Well, that did it! Any sign of embarrassment or weakness was cause for kids to tease and bully mercilessly for years to come. It got to the point that a week or two before my birthday, any mention of Groundhog Day would set off the teasing.
I felt awful. I didn’t know any other coping mechanism except to feel like I wanted to shrink until I wanted to disappear. My way of coping was to mentally assign Groundhog day to Feb 3rd! I went into complete denial that I was born on the same day as that shared with an illustrious rodent!
Had I known then what I now know, I would have calmly flipped the script and been able to joke that they were just jealous that they weren’t born on a notable day.
When kids and even adults find out what our insecurities are, then they push our buttons for their own amusement, enjoying the sense of power they get from making someone squirm, feel embarrassed or even cry.
Being able to own our deficiencies or even perceived deficiencies is hugely important to combatting these people.
When they see they can’t “get a rise” out of us, they usually drop it. Some don’t and they out themselves as mean, even cruel.
“Flipping the script” is a useful tool in life, for it allows us to take a seeming negative and turn it into a positive, or at the least, to find meaning in something difficult, which can help us to get through it.
I wish I could say that every situation has a silver lining, for many don’t, at least not in the moment they’re being lived. Sometimes we can only find meaning or reason when we look at the positive things which came out of the experience.
Some of my most difficult moments in my life were during times when I was raw and hurt, when I didn’t have any good life tools to be able to recognize a negative situation, much less be able to navigate my way out of them so I ended up suffering more.
By learning some healthy tools to navigate my life with I was finally able to recognize the things which weren’t healthy for me.
Some tools which can be of help to learn are:
- Teaching ourselves to like, then to love ourselves
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Healing from toxic pasts
- Taking charge of our thoughts
- Learning to set doable goals
- Teaching ourselves to have positive thoughts
It’s okay to start with something small, in fact, if you’re struggling with deep hurts and low self-worth, starting slowly is advisable!
Start with where you are at right now and build on that!
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
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