“It’s easy to be a critic, but being a doer requires effort, risk and change.” – Wayne Dyer
Everyone’s a critic, so the old saying goes.
Right now, the angry, negative critics are out in full force, pushing lies, conspiracy theories and just being plain obnoxious! Apart from them, many of us experience friends or family who easily dish out criticism and anger, making life difficult.
We have 2 choices when faced with critical or judgmental people in real life or online: we can engage or we can step away.
Participating in a situation where we may argue back or reply angrily not only aggravates the whole scenario, but it sends us into emotional zones where we’re suffering mentally, even physically.
Stepping away may have the effect of deescalating a tense situation, or at the least, we ourselves don’t get worked up, but it may not feel very satisfying.
So how can we get satisfaction if we feel unjustly criticized or judged?
Recognize that the person who is being critical and/or venting angrily, may feel very justified in their views, even if we vehemently disagree with them.
Giving them angry pushback won’t change their minds! It may actually entrench them even more in their views!
Working to find a solution can be tricky if the person has no desire to change, even after calmly discussing the situation with them!
When a person criticizes us repeatedly, even after we’ve done all we know how to build bridges for better communication and understanding, sometimes we need to just step away.
This takes self control and courage, because when we feel backed into a corner, our instincts to fight are difficult to suppress.
Stepping away may seem like a weak-minded thing to do, when fighting back appears to be an outward show of strength.
We’ve been conditioned into thinking that every single fight that comes our way should be fought hard and with force to make the other person back away. This is especially true when we’ve been painted in a bad way, and unjustly criticized.
In reality, we can pick and choose our battles!
Not everything is critical, do-or-die!
Many things are actually trivial, blown way out of proportion by angry words and posturing! There are small-minded and emotionally immature people who need to create BIG fights to feel bigger as a person.
Yes, some things are big and important, but there are more productive ways of handling the situation without jumping into the game using the set of rules set out by the other person.
It’s possible to bring our own peaceful set of rules into play!
Just because someone brings their negative set of rules to the game doesn’t make you obligated to follow their lead. You can choose to play by your set of positives and not get caught up in their whole game – which is to blame and shame!
If they continue to play dirty, you can leave their game!
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