“Be who you want to be, not what others want to see.”
It takes courage to step away from the Instagram crowd and just be you.
Likewise, it takes courage to step away from what family, church, or community wants you to be, and just be you.
Stepping away from others’ ideas of who we should be takes courage.
If we don’t give ourselves permission to be ourselves, we give up those very parts of ourselves in order to stay within the box set out for us by others.
Part of us dies.
Millions of people have experienced this, and have tried to stuff down their anger and their bitterness over feeling forced to fit into a role in life they didn’t feel was theirs.
Millions of people have done their best to make peace with their lot in life, but have become depressed inside instead of feeling peace.
Millions of people have developed addictions to alcohol or drugs to try to deal with the pain of not being able to be themselves.
Millions of people have developed anger or rage issues and have let their anguish out on others through their rage or violence.
How much of the violence, how much of the addictions, how much of the lost lives could have been saved or helped if we were allowed to be ourselves?
My first husband was told by his father that “if he went into a career of broadcasting or continued drawing, that he would disown him because only gay men did those things, and his son wasn’t gay!”
Terrible assumptions are made about many people’s interests, skills, abilities, and ambitions.
In order to please family or others, people will give up their true heart’s desires for what they want to do and who they want to be in life.
Chasing approval from a significant person often entails giving up dreams, stuffing down who we really are and who we really want to be.
What is the cost of approval if the essence of a person needs to be extinguished to fit into a box?
What about you?
I’m sharing more posts that may be helpful for you:
- 10 Steps to Owning Our Happiness
- Setting “Boundaries with consequences”
- Making a change… “How do I take that first step?”
- Affirmation: Today is a new day! I can do this!
- As we practice being gentle and kind with ourselves, we actually help to speed the process of helping our lives become more positive!
- Always believe that wonderful things can happen!
- A healthy outside starts from the inside!
- Brain Rewiring
More good stuff:
Teaching ourselves to like, even to love ourselves
By changing our inner dialogue, we change EVERYTHING!
Red Ocean or Blue Ocean? How do you think?
An answer to dealing with the Inner Critic!
My top 10 most viewed posts, plus a few bonuses!
A helpful trick to be able to overcome negatively Comparing Ourselves to others…
Do you only accept yourself if you look a certain way?
Please go to my Archived Posts page to find more wonderful posts to check out!
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this post and for following me!
Tamara
https://tamarakulish.com/ Archived Posts: https://tamarakulish.com/archived-posts/
My books: Developing Happiness When You Can’t Find It and How to Heal Your Life on a Deep Heart Level are available in paperback and Kindle. Audio book available!
Guided Journals help you work on a particular issue by answering questions to help see patterns and to find solutions:
Removing Inner Blocks, Anger Journal, Guided Anxiety Journal Joy & Mindfulness Journal My Boundaries Journal My Inner Thoughts Journal
Thanks for buying my books on Amazon!
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Tamara Kulish 
Yes, that belief in who and what we really are, is a beauty beyond words. And thankfully, our purpose down here to find that inner ‘now unconditional’ love.
Much love and light in spreading that freedom in your words ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
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Thank you so much! You too Mark!
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All of us as children have those fears pushed onto us because we love and look up to those people that brought us up, and unintentionally pass their fears onto us because they haven’t dealt with those fears yet themselves. We want to be loved so we copy them so that they will love us and we will not be rejected, but it happens as a part of life anyway. And the horrors they pass on, mainly in what feels like their rejection of us is splattered all through our relationships as we grow up. Many the time I accused my many ‘other half’s’ of not loving me when it was that fear of rejection. I plastered all those many relationships with that accusation because they didn’t live up to my expectations of what love should be. It took many, many years to look deeper and finally face that part of me that didn’t want to be seen, hidden by my negative image of myself so that I didn’t have to face it, and especially by others. But one day in the middle of a relationship breakup something broke and a lovely friend poked my heart and got me to finally express what I really felt…and out it came. I could barely believe what I was saying…but it was my truth and it finally allowed me to see what I hid. On that day as I broke down in a river of fears, that inner wall we hide behind collapsed and I could finally see the truth of my journey. Understanding is a powerful thing and in seeing ‘me’ the power of my fears were no longer there, I had been freed of them forever. Yes, out of a lifetime habit I still responded at times but as that understanding truly grew those habits slowly died until they no longer hold anything for me. Finally a life of freedom, and a love like no other. The one love I had searched for all my life, for that love and happiness we always search for, was the one I had refused to give myself. And now because that inner wall and my belief that held it there had destructed in understanding it, I could finally truly love myself and be free.
A powerful journey you have taken Tamara, one of no equal in this sojourn we take down here. And you have stood in that belief and shared it with the many. Take a bow, self love and its courage can only come from such a path, wear your scars proudly 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
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Oh, what wonderful and powerful words you write! Yes! Yes! Yes! These are truths we each fear discovering, but they truly set us free don’t they?
That you so much for sharing your freeing thoughts with all of us! 🥰🌸🌸 blessings!
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Each line of your post is absolutely powerful and is important on its own. In so many ways we feel compelled to be anything but ourselves. Therein lies so much suffering of humanity.
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You’re so right! We need to be the encouragers, the ones who keep telling people how awesome it is to “just” be themselves!
We judge ourselves too harshly don’t we, thinking that who we really are just isn’t worthy enough, so we try to become someone we’re not!
A lie repeated often enough becomes believed, and likewise, a truth repeated often enough becomes easier to accept!
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So perfect what you say – how good it is to read even though I think I know it, it empowers 🙂
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Reading words helps to make them more real doesn’t it! ☺️
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Yes :)))
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