“You’re not selfish for wanting the same energy and love you give.”
Being a giver comes very naturally to many of us, and for some being an extreme giver has become a badge of honor, showing supreme dedication.
There’s nothing wrong with giving, but when it becomes part of a person’s identity, to the exclusion of accepting for oneself, we call that being a martyr.
There are many who live a martyr’s life, deriving strong feeling of self worth from it.
When our sense of self esteem is low we seek external ways to build ourselves up.
It’s possible to build our inner self up, to heal from the damage which had disintegrated our sense of self worth.
By working on our healing we allow ourselves to live a healthier, more balanced life.
A good way to start is to speak gentle affirmations.
“I am a worthwhile person, just who I am.
People will like me even if I don’t bend over backwards for them!”
“I am not selfish for wanting to receive what I give out.”
“It’s okay to love myself. I am worthwhile.”
You are awesome! You are worthwhile!
You are able to make a healthy transition to live a balanced life!
Blessings,
Tamara
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Love this, Tamara! I can relate. Having been a giver always, I used to find it hard to ask back what I gave in relationships. But not anymore and it did feel selfish in the beginning but atleast I don’t feel invalid.
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Good for you! That’s a difficult one! I did that too. Changing was difficult for me as I had to came face to face with the damage I had inside of me from my past and face it. It was tough to see that I wasn’t just shortchanging myself by being the martyr, I was shortchanging my marriage!
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You speak to me and of me so clearly :))) So many years I found my worth only through giving. ANd it was unpleasant to withdraw from it and live for myself. It was worth the growth. I still feel unskilled at asking for help.
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Me too! This weekend I needed to rely heavily on my daughter and she and the kids rallied around me. I told her how grateful I was to have them and to have their support. Her reply was simple: “of course, we’re family. That’s what family does!” I got the warm fuzzies inside!
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Aww and now I felt the warm fuzzies :))) So happy for you and your daughter is so amazing!
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🥰🥰🥰
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