BAD, AWFUL days: how do we get over them?

Years ago I thought that “if only I could gain enough wisdom” I would no longer have any bad days. I thought that the teachers and mentors I admired never had any bad days because they had so much advanced spiritual knowledge that it basically prevented them from having a negative thought, let alone a bad day!

One thing I have learned along this journey of healing and growth, is that we’re all human; we all have baggage to deal with, we all live lives where stuff happens, we all have family who can be hurtful and we all have days where we struggle more than other days.

The other day I had a BAD AWFUL day which surprised me how quickly it spiraled down. I plunged into stinking thinking in my head; I wasn’t seeing things in a positive light, my old lack of self worth resurfaced and because of having experienced emotionally crushing events in my past, some old tapes started to play in my head! Pretty grim!

It’s amazing how after even years of healing and inner work, we can instantly be triggered to go sliding down! How far we go and how long it lasts depends on the tools we learn and work to put into practice.

Thanks to a lot of powerful inner work I’ve done, I’ve been very blessed to experience feeling positive about myself and feeling happy! So when I started slipping down the old rabbit hole, I was aware that my mindset wasn’t where I wanted to be and that I wanted to get back to feeling more positive.

Before I learned these tools and experienced this new mindset, I truly felt it was out of my reach to ever feel this way and that the universe saw me as being worthwhile to help. While I used to think that my life was destined to be difficult and that I’d never measure up to others, I’ve learned that doesn’t have to be the truth how the rest of my life plays out!

How do we get out of the negative mindset?

Getting out of a negative mindset requires more than scolding ourselves or beating ourselves up mentally for it!

In my own life it happened in incremental steps, took determination and hard work. Even though I didn’t believe myself to be deserving of feeling better, I still didn’t enjoy feeling the way I did and desperately wanted things to change.

Since it didn’t appear that anyone was going to help me do it, I decided to just do it myself. I later learned that it’s actually each of our responsibilities to take charge of our own inner world, to ask for help, to be open to learning new things, to not only seek out the tools but to do the hard work.

In a nutshell here’s what I’ve learned from amazing teachers:

Take care of ourselves physically:

  • Go to sleep and get rest
  • Drink healthy fluids to keep hydrated
  • Eat at least a healthy snack so the blood sugar isn’t plunging through the floor
  • Look into healthy supplements for the immune system, because stress will deplete it and make us feel run down

Practice self care:

  • Have a lovely hot shower or bath
  • Go for a walk, if able to
  • Light some candles
  • Play relaxing music
  • Get a massage, even a ten minute chair massage for $10-15
  • Eat a healthy sweet if your diet allows: dates, fruit smoothie or sorbet, some dark chocolate

Focus mentally on the positive

  • Read positive quotes
  • Read and say affirmations
  • Listen to positive podcasts/YouTube videos/webinars
  • Remember that we’ve managed to get through these moments before
  • Remember the universe has our back

Negative into Positive

A wonderful new thought I learned is: even negative events can trigger a positive, because if we search for a solution, then the suffering can be a sign that something needs to change!!

Years ago when I was still very raw and unhealed, I truly believed that the negative things which had happened and were continuing to happen, were all I somehow merited in life. While I didn’t necessarily think that I had done anything bad to deserve to be punished, I had internalized that I was somehow less than anybody else. I told myself I was cursed or destined for suffering.

Those thoughts were reinforced by many people in my life, based on how I was treated and what they said to me. Whether they believed that I was inferior to them or had attracted the negative events into my life, they seemed only too happy to play the blame game, which added to my overall misery and reinforced how I treated myself and who I continued to allow in my life.

Along my healing journey, new people came into my life, either physically or virtually by way of books or internet webinars etc. who helped me to change how I saw things.

I learned that the universe is very abundant and that the spiritual beings such as God, Jesus, our Angels etc. actually want us to partake of the abundance of love, health, healing and prosperity! This blew my mind because it was the polar opposite of what the churches I had attended had taught and what the people surrounding me in my life believed.

I learned our lessons come in ways which can feel painful, but as we grow and heal, we can see that these things aren’t intended to break us or to be our punishment, rather, they’re simply a signal that something isn’t working and we need to examine it carefully to see what the best solution is!

This alone is a huge mind shift!

Isn’t that a huge relief? Isn’t it nice to let go of that burden, to see the universe has our back instead of punishing us?

Initially when I started to slide down the rabbit hole of negative thinking, in that moment my mind drifted to the thought that I needed to find another job! Isn’t that a typical response many of us feel? It’s the “fight or flight” mode we can get launched into when our primal fear center (the Amygdala) is activated, and which can create more problems than they solve!

After I practiced some self care, I realized that I needed to make some changes in how I was doing things! I didn’t necessarily need to continue doing things in the same way.

What if you try all the solutions you know of and it still isn’t working out? Are you destined to sit and suffer?

No, I don’t believe that’s what is required of us!

Sometimes solutions come to us in ways we wouldn’t have otherwise considered if we had continued on the path we knew.

“If you want something new,
you have to stop doing something old.”
– Peter F. Drucker

Becoming open to new ideas and to change is an important part of healing and to growth! When a solution comes to mind, look to see that it’s something positive for you!

Any of us can get triggered at any time, if our perfect storm hits us. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed or that we’re not as advanced in our learning as we thought, because if we apply the knowledge we’ve learned, then the depth of our fall will be lessened as well as the length of time we struggle!

If you become triggered please practice self care, allow yourself time to breathe and to think!

Here’s some resources for affirmations which I have found to be very beneficial:

  • https://www.louisehay.com/ I love Louise Hay! Her teachings are so awesome and gentle! I recommend signing up for daily affirmations!
  • https://www.tut.com/ Mike Dooley has created “Notes from the Universe” which are wonderful to receive daily!

We can do this!

Peace, Tamara

♥ ♥

“When I know better, I do better!” – Maya Angelou

See more helpful articles: https://tamarakulish.com/resource-articles

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5 thoughts on “BAD, AWFUL days: how do we get over them?

  1. So true there is no escape from ‘bad days’ 🙂 The more we do the inner work, the more layers of vulnerability are opened through. Time, slowness, rest, self care, gentleness and compassion are all so required to get through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right!! I used to get so down on myself when I had a bad day, probably because I had unrealistic expectations that if I were “more enlightened” then I wouldn’t! It was mind blowing to learn that even people who were waaaay ahead of me on the curve could still have a bad day!

      It was how they handled it that allowed them to bounce back! I’ve learned to take a page out of their books! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The mind can play tricks, for sure!! It amazes me how my mind can be like a naughty child, taking a grain of something and then running off with it!! When I actually analyze it, the reality isn’t what I feared!

        I’ve also found that by laying on a thick layer of love and understanding, both for myself and the other person I might be struggling with, helps to smooth the way!

        Misunderstanding occurs in our minds, gets amplified by our own inner fears and if we aren’t in tune to this then the false perception of reality can actually become real!

        I put the concept of layering on extra love and understanding into practice this week, and voilà, the situation greatly improved!! (Both in my inner world and how the other person responded to me as a result!!

        Liked by 1 person

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